Hi there. Remember when I used to talk about something besides my mother being sick? Me neither, actually. This seems like it's been going on for a year. As for today, she seems a bit better. Still waiting on the cultures from the bronch. Physical therapy came and walked her around, her oxygen level held up fairly well during it, which is an improvement. She's getting kinda wigged out on the steroids, that's getting old, but they're reducing them today. There's talk of sending her to a rehab facility for a while when she is discharged, whenever that will be. I feel strongly that even when she is ready for discharge on paper, that she won't be strong enough to go home quite yet. Her regular doctor is going out of town tomorrow and Doctor Boy covering has the personality of a piece of cheese, so I'm thinking this will be up to me.
I think I turned into a grown-up last night. If you are just tuning in, I am an only child so there's just me and my parents. My dad is, well, my dad and that being said, he needs to be told things sometimes, especially those relating to my mother's illness. It's hard to describe. Anyway, I was talking to him on the phone last night and I told him that they needed to discuss things like what should be done if she were to stop breathing and what they want to do when her care at home becomes too much for him to handle (actually, it's that right now and she's not all that incapacitated) since I can't live with them. I told them to do it either with or without me, but just do it. It's a weird feeling to have to give directions to your parents. I also taught him to do laundry. He's a Marine and a teacher, surely he can handle this task. He did pretty well. My boss calls me the "poster child" for the Sandwich Generation, I never felt like it until yesterday. You see, the Sandwich Generation should be much older than I am, I didn't acknowledge my membership card until this episode.
Ye Olde Hospital Unit has been low on entertainment. I restrained myself mightily by not using the powers of my camera phone as the respiratory therapist, Shirley, is like a cartoon character. She such a "Shirley", complete with very large strawberry shaped hair clips containing her permed bouffant. My apologies to anyone actually named Shirley. You are the exception, really, you are. Across the Hall Guy was discharged and replaced by Really Angry Yelling Man so there is no quiet. This guy isn't at all amusing like the other guy. I haven't pissed off the help today, but it's early, I still have time.
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I hope your mom gets better soon!
It's a whole new world, isn't it? I'm one of six children, and eternally grateful to the sister who puts up, I mean lives, with our dad.
Glad to hear your mom is improving and hoping you get to take a break soon. We'll continue to keep your mom in our thoughts & prayers.
I likened taking care of a sick parent to taking care of a child. My friend Vickie (http://www.alwaysvictoria.com) has never had a child, but she does now. She and her husband moved to south GA to live with her mom and take care of her. She now knows first hand what being a parent is all about. Only I think it is worse, because you don't have the joys you do with parenthood. It is hard watching your parent (someone you once thought of as never being capable of dying) slowly degenerating and weakening. My husband is much older than I am, and thus is parents are older, so I am seeing this with them, especially his father. Though he is not incompacitated, he is very limited. It is sad and really makes a person value life.
That whole giving directions to your parents is difficult. I'm there too. Count your blessings that they are following your directions. It sucks when they resist.
I found that the hospital social worker can be a big help in getting them to talk about things. The SW just treats it like regular paperwork and then offers to fill out the Healthcare directive..
You are very wise to be thinking of all this now. I know it's hard. *hugs*
Maybe RAYMan (Really Angry Yelling Man) needs a friend. You should deliver some flowers to his room. He might appreciate it, if they aren't the wrong colors.
As I mentioned - I am there for you in heart - I had my sick mom live with myself and my NEW husband for three years, then had to do most of my dad's stuff for another two. Taking care of kids is a cinch compared to taking over older people's lives and suddenly making all their decisions for them.
Keep writing.
Hang in there, BM. Talk about having your hands full.
You're so strong, Busy Mom. Hang in there -
Hang in there...
What about a home-aide a few hours a day to help out with household chores/bathing your mom and giving your dad a break? Even a few days a week would be a great help.
"God never gives us more than we can handle."
Keep the faith and take some time out for yourself so you don't get burned out. I remember when my paternal g'pa died (he was 97) my g'ma (she was 95) went downhill fast. It was like she was holding on just for him. After he was gone, she just didn't want to live. Enter my dad, my 3 sisters and me - all trying to take care of her on a rotating basis. After only a month of this, we had a family meeting with my dad's brothers and agreed to move her to a Mennonite Nursing Home. It was the HARDEST thing we EVER did, but we couldn't take care of her anymore. It helps when the rehab or nursing home has a good reputation and has a great and dedicated staff too. Gramma and Grampa been gone for 7 years now, but the memories of this are like it was just yesterday! I wish you the best of everything and hope Busy Gramma gets better really soon! Hugs and prayers.
I swear... every hospital must have a 'Shirley' either that or I use to work with that woman! LOL
I am keeping you and your parents in my prayers!
I'm here for you-IM me anytime.
(((hugs)))
Living it here too. When I started seeing reports on the Sandwich Generation, I was so relieved. I was really starting to think I was losing my mind. It really is as hard as I thought it was.
I have two sisters to help, they just can't be bothered. *smack*
My prayers are with you!
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