My mother is still in the hospital (day 6, for those of you playing along at home). She had a bit of a setback last night and it made me a little nervous. She had a sudden onset of symptoms that I thought may have been a blood clot to her lungs and she developed a fever. Her LPN was a bit unphased by the whole thing, I was all "How about let's get an IV"? and she was all, "You think I should call the doctor"? and, then I went, "Yep, you might want to." And so it went. We still don't know what is/was wrong, but I was up all night, and, if you had brought me a can of paint, I probably could have thoroughly shaken it for you with my hands, I had the jitters that badly (hence the title of this post).
I repeat, though, if any of you are in health care, I promise I'm not "that" family member (geez, you ask one tiny question at the nurse's station and you get a reputation as a difficult family member), despite what I have written in the past few days. She is in capable hands here at Minor Medical Center, I have no doubt. Yes, I know everyone probably has a hospital horror story, and, that I should be glad I was here to speak up for my mother. These nice folks would have done their jobs had I been here or not. However, I'm sure each nurse that comes on is aware of me, especially after last night. As matter of fact, she has a new night nurse tonight and she just left the room after asking if either of us needed anything. I said, "No, thanks, and, by the way, I promise I'm not as bad as they told you in report tonight." Her reply? "That's OK", thus confirming that they did, indeed talk about me at shift change. Heh.
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Bring some cookies or some flowers to the nurses station. Then they will know who you are, talk about you, but not in "that" way. And you won't have to stop doing what you are doin in the least, because you are doing an excellent job of advocating for your mom when she needs an advocate! Then when anyone does have an issue about you and dare they say something the other nurses will say "Shut up Marge, she's feeding us so nicely!" And then you just continue your steady course of putting the heat on when you need to. : )
Well, if it makes them a little more vigilant, then maybe it's not such a bad thing. And, I agree, feeding the nurses is a pretty darn good idea, too!
Maybe a decaf cinnamon dolce latte would be yummy and helpful for you, Busy Mom! Mmmm!
Lecture alert:
Listen... your job right now is to play advocate for mom. No one second guesses that. Even the nurses who got their degree from a cracker jack box. Your "job" is second to your role as daughter. That means you have a "free pass" to ask questions and be a PITA just like every other normal family member that doesn't have an RN after their name.
My mom (also a nurse) and my aunt (also a nurse) tend to try to be really "nice" to doctors and other medical people like it's some sort of brotherhood understanding. Sorta like how cops don't give out tickets to other cops. Nurses don't bug other nurses. Which is all fine and good when everyone is competent, not understaffed and doing their job! :) But ya know... sometimes it just doesn't work out that way right?
So no guilt. Screw the nurses. You are a daughter first, a nurse second.
And pass the Starbucks. I'll be a good friend and drink it for you... Cause you know... that's the kinda friend I am ;)
Keep up the good work. Your mom is my prayers :)
Try a nice hot cocoa on your Starbucks run tonight. But first stop at the liquor store for a teeny bottle of Bailey's to put in it.
Still thinking about you.
haha!! you have a rep, girl. you are infamous...
I hope your mom is better, that is so hard.
whenever i have been in the hospital, i have been so greatful to have an advocate... when you're laying in the bed, doped up, you have a limited range of influence. having someone there that is aware (and a medical professional no less!) that cares, and is on your side must be a wonderful thing. your mother is lucky to have you there with her.
Well, I think it has already been covered above, but I will join in for emphasis:
You are doing what it right for your mum. There should be no regrets in doing so, and I really don't think apologies are requisite for wanting what is best for your mother. There is a difference between those who are concerned about proper care and those that are the PITA for PITA sake. And believe me, the nurses KNOW the difference (at least the good ones do, and the not as good ones... well, who cares, they are the reason you NEED to be an advocate for your mum right now).
A sign of appreciation that there are no "hard feelings" is always nice to show that you appreciate the job that the nurses do.
The docs and nurses are only human-- I'm ALL ABOUT being "that relative," especially if you have the medical knowledge. It shows you care and can only help.
Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
Let em talk. I hate to hear that she had a setback though, I know this is hard for you and her and your dad. I hope that you have nice nurses, helpful Busy Kids and plenty of wireless internet and coffee (along with good health and no more glitches for your mom!)
Sorry about the set back. Keep up the good work being your mom's advocate!
I hope your mom is better and I agree that knowing about you probably just keeps them on their toes all the more.
I'm sure those nurses would be doing the SAME THINGS for their own ill family members. I wouldn't second guess yourself at all - you're doing exactly what you need to do for your mom. Deep down, I'm sure the nurses all realize that, too.
First, I hope your mom is feeling better. Continuing good thoughts and healthy vibes.
Second, be as 'bad' as you want. Sometimes I think, even though the medical staff has the best of intentions, they just can't do everything for everyone. Every patient should have a friend or family member at their side to advocate for them.
I hope your Monday is going well!
I agree, you need to be the voice for your Momma. Nothing is more important than that sweetie. Who cares if it labels you as difficult. Doctors and nurses aren't without imperfections, bad days and well bias. You keep doing what you are doing and maybe opt for a decaf starbucks. If I were you however, I would be right there with you. Hugs
I'm so sorry your Mom is having setbacks. I hope they figure out what is wrong soon. And I agree with everyone, your Mom is fortunate to have you there as her advocate. I can see from a nurses point of view where family members could get in the way, but the nurses and doctors are only human and they can miss things. I would think any medical professional who has a problem with an appropriate amount of concern can just stick it. That's not very nice :-) Bring them some donuts if you feel like it.
I hope that things start looking up today.
Every patient in a serious medical situation needs a vocal advocate. You go, Busy Mom!
My best friend was my VERY vocal advocate for me when I had Guillain Barre (in 2001) and my doctors STILL ask how she is when I go in for check-ups!
Squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Sorry I haven't been around lately. I hope your mom gets better soon!!!
All I can hear in my head while I'm reading this post is Joan Jett's "I don't give a damn about my bad reputation"!
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!
Being a nurse myself, I have definately seen family members like you....LOL But in your defense, some nurses are ignorant and every move they make you as a patient or a patients family member, have to question.
You know who the nurses are talking about? The patients whose family members don't help out or seem to care. You are doing what needs to be done. I wouldn't be surprised if your Mom is aware of you and your voice in her care. She knows on some level she can relax because Busy Daughter is in her corner and not afraid to speak out.
Oooh, I had a decaf cinnamon dolce last night. Highly recommended. Just remember, decaf! (Fingers crossed, too, by the way.)
Well they are definitely going to feel a bit intimidated by you being there. I would. I would constantly be wondering if you were second-guessing my decisions in your mind.
But ultimately, try to just focus on your mom and not worry about it too much.
Yeah, right! ;)
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