Happy National Stand in the Middle of the Effing Grocery Aisle for No Particular Reason Day! Everyone is celebrating at Publix this evening, go on over.
Don't forget to begin your slack-jawed wanderings by coming to a complete standstill immediately inside the door, it helps others celebrate with you. The evening culminates in the dairy aisle where you can conveniently leave your cart in the middle of the aisle while you stare in apparent amazement at the milk products. Be sure to stay there a while, I heard that they talk to you if you wait there long enough.
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