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Charlie's Soap

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Friday, April 14
Bad mood grocery store dude

Happy National Stand in the Middle of the Effing Grocery Aisle for No Particular Reason Day! Everyone is celebrating at Publix this evening, go on over.

Don't forget to begin your slack-jawed wanderings by coming to a complete standstill immediately inside the door, it helps others celebrate with you. The evening culminates in the dairy aisle where you can conveniently leave your cart in the middle of the aisle while you stare in apparent amazement at the milk products. Be sure to stay there a while, I heard that they talk to you if you wait there long enough.

7:34 PM | Comments (20) |


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Hey! They're celebrating at the mall here! But you have to come to a complete stop at the end of the escalator, preferably with four or five family members or friends! Or, alternatively, you can stop RIGHT inside the door to, say, The Gap and have a LOOOONG conversation about when and where you plan to meet up later.

Good times, people.

They had that celebration at our grocery store today also, only added to the mix was talk about your old boss in a VERY LOUD VOICE so everyone related to her would know.

I'm feeling it ~ I just experienced the Grand "Re-Opening" at Walmart (I'm not even sure what that means as it has never been closed). There are more than 15 fully dressed mascots in the store including the Keebler Elf, a giant and sort of scrary Oreo, a large happy face (danger falling prices thingy), a random polar bear and at least 150 local high school cheerleaders. I was in that store almost 2 hours. Never, never, again.

You obviously weren't at the WBR Target today...sheesh what a mess! I felt like those red carts were coming at me from all sides. I go there a lot and have NEVER seen so many people there!

Posted by: bunny | April 14, 2006 9:17 PM

At least your store were open! I paid a fortune for frigging raspberry jam to top off the Brie! Damn!

ROFLMAO

Don't shop the Easter aisle ANYWHERE.

Friggin stand still & block the aisles MAYHEM I tell ya.

I don't go to the grocery store in the middle of the day anymore for that exact reason. The retirement homes load up their lovely burgundy VanBus and let those folks loose for two hours or more in there. ::shiver::

I go late at night. *Those* are my people. The folks buying 3 bananas, cat food and a 9-volt battery at midnight.

And just last week it was National Stand 2 Inches In Front of the Arriving Elevator Door and Act Surprised When People Need to Exit Day!

And here in Memphis its "Lets all try to use the self checkout even when you dont know how to work it" day.

Posted by: Larisa | April 15, 2006 7:39 AM

Oh you have got to go check out the cartoon that Mamacita posted on her blog.
http://weeklyscheiss.blogspot.com/

I had a lady in Sprawl-Mart leave her cart right in front of me as she went be-boppin' down an aisle in search of who-knows-what. There were so many people in there, I had no way around it. I started pushing it forward, gave it a quick turn and shoved it as hard as I could into the men's clothing section. She came flying out of the aisle and very snottily said, "Excuse me." I replied, "Okay." and continued on my way. Later, my hubby and I came on an unattended cart blocking the aisle with a little kid sitting in it. Hubby told me, "Don't even think about it." Hey, the kid might have enjoyed the ride!

Also, when people block my way, I say, "Excuse you." Cause really? I'm not the one at fault. Why should *I* have to be excused?

I found your link from a friend's blog and thought I'd stop by...You mentioned Publix in your post. I am originally from FL where Publix is a popular grocery store. I now live in NC. We don't have them here. What part of the south do you live in?

Ha ha! Oh this is one of my favorite of your posts. Come on over to Kroger; We're celebrating there too!

I can relate to this! It drives me crazy when people just stop and stare off to who-knows-where! MOVE ALREADY! How long does it to decide on milk? I have been buying the same brand, same type of milk for 15 years. I go to the door, open it, take it out and I am done. What is with the staring into the fridge, closing the door, opening another then deciding??? Sheesh! And most of all don't say a friggen thing about me having 12 items in the 10 items line because I will kick your ass all the way down the produce section!

We celebrate this EVERYDAY at every grocery store I walk into. Now that we have a Super Wal Mart, it's a big thing over there too!

Posted by: SistaSmiff | April 17, 2006 5:52 AM

Huh, I thought it was on Saturday. Or at least all the folks shopping at Sam's Club thought so.
I seriously considered just running over people with my cart. Then maybe they would get the message? One older gentleman was kind enough to move his arm so I could squeeze through. So kind.

heh.

Posted by: ella | April 17, 2006 9:31 AM

This is why I LOVE reading your blog. You crack me up on a regular basis. Thanks for the smile.

We're hyperventilating at the check-out at Kroger in Knoxville. For some reason the checker-outer is always in a conversation with the bagger-upper about what time they are getting off from work and how many hours they have to work this week! Who gives a big hairy sh**! Just get me outta here!Paper or plastic? .........brown bag please!

Posted by: Red | April 17, 2006 2:40 PM

Confucious wrote that If someone is irritating at the beginning of the grocery store, they will be irritating THROUGHOUT your entire stay at the grocery store. It's true. That milk-starer in aisle one will be the one in the frozen food aisle with his cart in the middle of the aisle, and the door open wide. Then, just when you think you're home free, he'll be the one with the checkbook and 12,000 expired coupons. That is the tao of grocery stores...alas...

"Yeah, um, if you wouldn't mind moving a little to the let, that would be great..."

We saw this movie at Lunardi's on the day before Easter. Right in front of the meat counter, like there was no one trying to get up and down THAT aisle.