As most of you know, The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby just turned four. However, it's only recently sunk into me that he's actually older now, and, he knows it. This is more important to him than it was for the other two. He's genuinely offended if you say something that implies that he's "a baby".
This evening, I was getting him ready for bed, and, went to get a diaper out, and, he went ballistic. It seems that Busy Dad told him he could sleep in underwear tonight. When Busy Girl was little, she just assured us one day that she could stay dry at night, and, she did. I have no idea how we got Busy Boy out of diapers at night, I really don't remember. But, until right now, diapers (at night, for The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby) were just part of the routine here.
My first thought was, "Are you mad?!" Then, after Busy Dad said, "Um, just how long is he going to wear diapers?", it occured to me that I had forgotten to think about it. It's not that I don't want to let him, or, that I sub-consciously don't want him to be this old, it's just what we've always done, and, it hasn't occured to me to change it. We won't go into the fact he's still in a crib. But, that has it's reasons, kind of.
Then again, perhaps part of it is that it's sometimes hard to internalize the fact that your children are growing up. But, the whole thing makes me wonder about myself. Are my kids are missing out on rites of passage, not because of my control issues, but, because I don't have the mental disk space to contemplate them? For example, if someone hadn't brought up the subject of what age is OK for kids to stay at home alone, it wouldn't have occured to me to consider it. I guess, if I was left unchecked, Busy Girl would be in college before she ever stayed home alone, and, The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby would be packing diapers in his overnight bag in 5th grade.
Someone help me remember to teach them to drive, please.
I'll try to be quiet and not wake ya'll tonight when I'm changing the bed and his pajamas.
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"but, because I don't have the mental disk space to contemplate them"
This is the world in which I currently reside, happy to know you are here with me!
Our four (almost five) year old, recently moved up to the nighttime pull ups because suddenly, diapers were offensive. And who can blame him, really?
I'm trying desperately to potty train the youngest (who will be three in 17 days) but he is steadfast in his resistance. And honestly, I almost feel that if one more thing changes around here, I might implode, so I suppose it's okay.
And you didn't state your reasons for the crib, still, but I totally know where you are coming from.
I always am the last to know what to do with the kids! I have to get the "wake up call" that gee, all the other kids can get dressed by themselves, or ride bikes, before it will even occur to me to let my kids try it. My next challenge is potty training my boy, he's 2.5 now. Guess it is time, but I just don't want to deal with it!
My nine year wasn't potty trained till he was 5. Day or night. He wouldn't do it if you promised him Baby Jesus would bring him a Mercedes. One day he just did the whole thing.
I think it's nice you don't stress yourself out on the when this, when that. I want to be like that actually.
Hmmmm.... as someone who is "much older", may I remind you that the longer you miss out in "training them in all necessities of life"...... the longer they live at HOME!
I think Busy Dad should get up to change the sheets. It was his idea.
Don't forget about the computer access issues....
I seem to transition QuirkyBoy into things sort of by default. "I'm tired of cleaning his room and making his bed for him...let's put his tendency toward anal-retentiveness to good use and start making him do it every morning!" Or, as in your case, "I'm sick of diapers. Time for underwear."
It's always worked pretty well, but I never do plan out stuff like that in advance. Not a lot of deliberation, it just kind of happens.
I don't think we all know what to do with our kids and when. I think sometimes we follow the lead of others - sometimes the kids bring it up themselves - sometimes you see something on tv - of - ((gasp)) read a blog. It takes a village!!!
My boyfriends almost 7 year old sister still wears diapers at night. The first time I realized this was when we were on vacation last summer and I figured, OK, strange place (she had just turned 5), she might not know what she has to do or where she has to go if she wakes up in the middle of the night.
I realized the other day, though, that they still have diapers for her in the house and she still wears them on a regular basis. So it isn't just you who does that.~.^
#3 son in our house still has Pull-ups at night too, and he will until he has a problem with it. I view the expense as an investment in a good night's sleep for us both.
Re: the big picture. I think I'm pretty good at "next step upping" for my #1 son, and note too bad for #2, but I admit that it's hard to let #3 grow up. He's my baby!! Give me a break! ;)
I agree that Busy Dad should change the sheets! ;)
It'll all work itself out in the end. I am curious, though, if he made it through the night...
I worry about giving up the crib at our house because Baby is so close to the front door. It just brings up a whole new host of issues. I sympathize.
Yeah, Busy Dad is on wet-bed alert!
My son is really too big for the high chair now, but I continue to seat him in it (pulling it up to the table). His feet hang below the footrest, but the thought of putting that chair away makes me sad!
After we potty trained Miss Muffet and she was good to go during the day we put pull ups on her at night. Once she started staying dry at night we stopped (give it about 2 weeks). To this day she has NEVER had an accident at night (thank god, because she sleeps with us!) and she is 3. One Thing though. Put a picnick table cloth or showe curtain under his sheet to protect the mattress. I had to do this with Diva and it works!
If he is able to get out of the crib my himself, move the potty chair in his room at night.
You may find a present in it in the morning.
I don't think it's a mental disk space issue - I really think it's a holy buckets are they really that old issue. Lets face it one day they're crawling and the next day they're contemplating what kind of car we should buy them for their 16th birthday (never mind is 3 years away). Leaving Gameboy "in charge" for the first time (1/2 an hour, mid-day, neighbors home and aware) was the scariest thing ever in the whole world; but it was overdue when I compared it to myself at his age - now we're up to hours at any time of the day....it's magnificent (and the neighbors still know whats going on - I'm a control freak)
Welcome to the night club! I took Josh out of pullups at night when he was 4 yrs 3 mo. He still wets occasionally. I have discovered the earlier he goes to bed, the less chance he has of wetting for some reason. Guess, the REM comes earlier and he is then able to wake himself up later. My question, is 5:30 to early for a preschooler to go to bed?
I also agree, plastic sheet on the mattress and an extra pair of sheets or two so you are not washing sheets EVERY DAY....
I don't remember the days and times of potty training history (well, actually I do...but that is not what I want to say right now). I do remember one day that made me look at my son and know he was older than he had been last time I had given his age a thought. We were paying to get into a museum. We were with his grandparents and I was treating. I bought three adult tickets and one child priced one. Then I marched off to the gift shop, but the cashier followed me. Is he with you?, she asked as she pointed to my son who was looking at an exhibit with his grands. Yes, I bought him a ticket, I told her. I have to admit I was being a little patronizing to her...as I smiled sweetly, since, the poor woman hadn't noticed I just bought him a ticket. I had given the money to her...it wasn't like I was trying to sneak it, I was thinking. How rude of her to cause a scene and me with my in laws. Yes, she said, but you bought a child's ticket. As I looked up at his 6'6" frame into his bearded face, I realized she might not be the one who had missed the point. Oh, I said, and I got out the wallet.
I see my future in your post, and it ain't pretty!
One word of advice...do not teach them to drive! Oh the thought of not having to run them around is seductive to be sure but the price you pay is a steep one. Best case scenario...link driving privilege to complete independence..."when you move out you may drive, but not a moment sooner." That just might work.
I'm with ya. I was HORRIFIED by the notion that my 8 year old would be old enough to stay home when he reaches 9 (????). That is absurd! Why it was only yesterday that...
I also get lots of sh--for calling my last two "the babies." They are 2.5 and 3.5 and I fear they will be "the babies" for a long time to come...
it's a good think i don't have kids. the kids would be 1 year old and i'd be all, 'wtf, you're not literate and potty trained and able to dress yourself?'
I didn't think #2 would EVER get out of diapers. I'm of the mind that potty training is really more the parents being trained and I kinda took the thought of "They'll go when they're ready." Which they did. #1 Son, was 3 and said "I don't want to wear diapers anymore." That was that. He never once wet the bed. My daughter was almost 2 and she stopped on her own (girls do that). #2...wasn't interested at all. He's done everything completely different anyway. They tried at daycare....no go. Finally, as he was about to turn 4 (and I could not bear to change anymore diapers after nearly 10 years) I told him his 4th birthday was coming and that was it. It worked.
As for the older kids who wear diapers..my nephew is nearly 10 and still wets the bed regularly. He has been to specialists and on medications....no clues.
I bought a big package of Pullups today after swearing them off. I've been trying to get Caitlin to sleep at night without one this week since she often is dry in the mornings, but after two mornings of having to strip the bed completely (despite me putting down one of those protectant cover type things as she is ALL over the place at night) I'm running out of mental disk space ...and I just have two kids!
So...did he stay dry?
I hope you dropped down the side of the crib and left the hallway light on so that "Big" busy boy could hustle off to the bathroom in the middle of the night without waking you?
Oops, I meant to say "Big busy baby" in the preceding comment.
Want to trade? I contemplate the next thing too much. If anybody sees that guy, Happy Medium, running around, send him my way, okay?
How did he do without his diaper? I am currently going through night time training as you can see
http://www.familyoffive.co.uk/2006/05/01/toilet-training-night-one-success/
and would love any tips!
The wife and I take turns having momments like these. Actually we had two of them when it came to bed-time and diapers.
The first was when TheWife didn't want to move from the Diapers to the Pull Ups, she wasn't ready to "admit" that LatteGirl wasn't a baby any longer.
Then it was my turn, when we went from Pull Ups to "Big Girl Panties," and I wasn't ready for my daughter to be in "Big Girl" anything, let alone panties.
Hope that went well last night - you didn't wake me, so if it was an issue, I certainly missed it!
O.K. I have three kids the youngest my baby whom I still baby talk to is seven! It is very hard to let the youngest grow. I am fighting myself to do so. I just found out that he may need to repeat the 1st grade again next year because he is just very imature and not ready to grasp everything yet. Yes I am blaming myself!!!!! Anyway my little trick I used for all my kids on keeping a bed dry trick. First I found that my kids only wet it about once a night so I would first put a towl down and then about 3 little baby blankets so that when I found them wet all I had to do is change them, and just peel back the layers for wash much easier than a full bedding change a 3 am.
When Tony was a baby, I worked hard to create a feeding schedule based on his needs. I remember writing in my journal the times he was eating, and then trying to stick with that.
With DeeDee, the thought has crossed my mind, "Oh, I need to record her feeding times so we can create a schedule." But I haven't done it yet. I've noticed, however, that her schedule seems to be creating itself without too much effort on my part.
As far as the diaper thing is concerned, we have a friend who, a couple years ago, had a four-year-old who wasn't potty trained - at all. Day or night. Tony is seven now, and until recently when he spent the night at friends' house, we sent him with "overnights" just in case.
Oops, I was interrupted by a comment. We tried many different techiques with Tony to get him fully diaper trained. What finally did it (when he was three and a half) was when we circled a date on the calander and told him that after that date, he would wear just underware.
He decided to be done with pullups before that date; on the day of the school Christmas program, for which I was the prop person and floor director for. He was hollering in the bathroom, my husband was asking me questions about props from the doorway, my mom was on the phone with me, and the second line rang with the school superintendant. Not a good time.
I remember several years back, as I was sweating one of my kids potty-training episodes, a woman and I were talking in the pediatrician's office. Her comment was, "Who set a time-line for these things anyway? Just do what feels right. "
Ok, I know I'm late to the party here, but I just linked to your blog from somewhere else in blogland, and had to comment. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. My own mother died in January of lung cancer at the age of 53.
As for the diaper thing, I'm totally on your side on this one. My former stepson wore a diaper (and I do mean a diaper, not a pullup or goodnite) for bedwetting past the age of six, when my wife and I separated. Quite frankly, it was the only thing that was absorbant enough at night for him - and even they leaked pretty often! He never had a problem wearing them, and I never saw a problem with him wearing them because they met a need, and saved me from having to change sheets at 2 am. My ex-wife, on the other hand, thought I was babying him too much, and it was a source of arguments often in our house. Really she was more bothered by the thought of him bedwetting (she once claimed he was the "only 6 year old in the world who still wets the bed!') than the fact that I used a diaper. Odd, she wasn't bothered by the fact that he twice got suspended for his behavior in school, but she was because he wet while he slept.
Bottom line, I say do what is right for your family, your children, and your needs. They're only little for so long, so who cares if they have to wear a diaper, or are sleeping in a crib at 4, or whatever! Does it work for you? If so, I wouldn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.
http://grail.oise.utoronto.ca/bib.cgi?action=raw