Nothing odd about that....you are smart to get that ball rolling now and it will be easier when the time is here. One thing I hear is to not let them talk you into the expensive casket...its the vault that needs to be good....

Bless your mom....all of you. I've been here before, twice, with dad and stepfather. It sucks.

Hard moments -

I love your Mother's sense of humor about the crap fair.

Hang in there, all of you.

I also don't think there's anything wrong with planning. It will give you time to feel emotional instead of worrying, when the time comes. Death makes people act so funny sometimes, but it sure sounds like you're doing okay. Besides, I've been planning my mother's funeral for years, but of course I can't stand her. Must be all the alcohol perserving her so damn long. :)
Hang in there, gorgeous. If you ever need to talk, you know where I am.

You're definitely doing the right thing by planning ahead. It will make the whole process easier for everyone not to have to wonder what details there are looming - when the time does come for that. Thinking of you - it can't be easy.

Wow. You are in my thoughts and prayers. So is your mom, dad, and the rest of the Busy family. Hang in there.

Thinking of you, and your mom. No matter how "expected" it is, it's still sucky.

You're back on LJ!

I know what you mean about feel with the "crassness"--the BF is already working a eulogy and is worried there won't be enough people to sing the songs his dad wants at the funeral. It just feels inappropriate to discuss it, you know?

Control issues or not, I think you know that you'll be super busy when that time comes, whether it's in 2 years or 2 weeks. It's good to get the easy stuff out of the way so you can concentrate on the really important things, like spending time with mom.

Maybe some think it's morbid, but you've known that day will come for some time. A lot of people don't get the luxury to say "goodbye" and "I love you" and "the arrangements are all made so you have nothing to worry about."

Hospice is great, I recommend taking advantage of all they have to offer. Support for the entire family.

Thinking of you, BusyMom. Keep trying to look up as you have been.

I'm sorry. Being a grown-up isn't all that I'd hoped for as a kid. Sometimes it really stinks.

Try to enjoy every moment you have with your Mom. I can't imagine what's worse, having time to "prepare" (if that is really possible) or being totally thrown off guard. In any case, none of us really know when our time is up. Take good care of you and your Mom and Dad.

I think that after the funeral home visit, you deserve some "merchandise selection" of your own. Coach, maybe? Or shoes! Shoes are always good.

Thinking of you, as always.

Thinking of you sweetie and sending prayers up for your mom to be pain free.

Positive thoughts coming from Las Vegas. IMHO, I don't think filling out the paperwork is any different than people buying their "plots" 20 years before they actually need them. It's just one of those things that has to be done...and if you can do it ahead of time - it's easier on you, and your dad, in the long run. Hugs and more hugs for all of you!

Don't know quite what to say that hasn't already been said.
I've only just "met" you recently, and I find that I think of you and your family and say a quick little prayer several times a day.
My mom passed away over 6 years ago now. I still have trouble believing that I've made it this long without her.
Thoughts and hugs (hopefully not too forward from someone who really doesn't know you that well).

Get your mom the fuzziest, prettiest slippers you can find for Mother's Day. Then give her a kiss.

Best to you all.

I echo all the good thoughts and prayers being sent your way.

Hey there- thinking of you - know it can't be easy :( Hang in there!
CM

Along with everyone else my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There is nothing odd about you going to the funeral home. You might even consider at some point, if you haven't already, to talk to your mom about what she wants for her funeral. My grandparents had done everything picked out and paid for many, many years so it would be what they wanted. Of course my grandfather wanted to make sure he got the "right University of Kentucky blue" because he didn't trust us to get it right. :-)

I, too, have some experience in this subject. It, like the leaving home for camp, is one that changes with the person. I found that I operated on two distinctly different levels at the same time. Layers of life you might say. One was the listmaker who would have, like you, visited the funeral home and been the coherent uninvolved party of the first part. But, always, swimming somewhere nearby was the wreck of a daughter who wasn't sure which end was up. Somehow it worked. Good luck to you and yours.

I'm thinking of you too.

I think it is so good that you are taking care of those things right now. If nothing else it would at least make me feel like I was *doing* something. Still, it sucks.

You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

I think that you are right to sort things out now. Like everyone else I'm thinking of you all. Your Mum has got a daughter in a million!

Nothing wrong with making some of those kind of decisions when you have a clear head. After my mom passed away (she had preplanned everything) my dad went and did the same. I hated to hear him talk about it ("heres where I keep all the papers for when you need them") but I am glad he did. Not looking forward to it.
Hugs to you and your family.

I will keep your mother and you and your family in my prayers. I know what an emotionally draining (and physically exhausting) time this is. My grandmother passed away last December, and my mother is the eldest (and power of attorney). My poor mom didn't want to deal with the fact that my granny was dying. I had to pretty much force her to go do things in preparation for a funeral. I hated every moment of it, because death is just not something I deal with. But my mom recently told me she is grateful that I pushed her to get it done because none of her siblings even helped. So I don't think you are being crass. I think you are being kind and caring.

God Bless!
Dana

Hang in there. We had the opportunity (if that's what you want to call it) to take care of the plans before they became necessary and, as difficult as it was, it was truly a blessing when it was time. I know I'm far away, but if you need anything, let me know. Its not that far.

Oh wow. Tough times. I'm so sorry you have to think about this stuff. I'm hoping your mom feels better soon!

I am doing the Hike for Hospice tomorrow. Will be thinking about your mom and you. ;)

My dad is a funeral director and he has said more than once that his only regret about this profession is that he meets really nice folks at one of the worst times in their lives. So getting done what you can ahead of time is terrific, you can meet the people that will be holding your hand through the tough stuff later.

Your mom and my mom connect us in a certain way, as you know, so of course you are in our thoughts and prayers. And prayers for your moms healing as well, in whatever way the Lord decides.

I will keep you all in my prayers... especially that if this is her time, she will go peacefully... and for you to be comforted during this time!!! {{{Hugs}}}

My thoughts are with you. As sad as it is, you are right to pre-plan a little. We plan for everything else, but we tend to not think about the final moments until they are here. This will make it easier for you and your family later. Many hugs.

You and the Busy family are in my thoughts and prayers.

It does look like she has outlived the normal Stage IV person--not that it makes it any easier. Hoping for the best.

i HATE that you're going through this... that said, i'm really glad you're taking care of some of these preparations now... so you won't have to be overwhelmed with things...later. that's what happened to joel when his father passed away (suddenly), and it was very difficult for him, because his mother was not in a position to do anything.

lots of love and prayers are being sent your way--i know that doesn't 'fix' anything, and i'm so sorry, but i hope the knowledge that you have people who care so much about you at least helps, in some small way.

This is never easy, but I'm so glad you've contacted hospice. My dh has been on their board here for some time, and I think they're amazing. They were only called in one day before my mom died, and even then they were terrific. Still, thoughts and prayers coming your way (especially on Friday when we were in Nashville and passed some offices of MMC).

We all have to go thru the hard time seeing our love ones go. Just have to think positive.

My prayers are with you as you deal with what is so easy to brush under the carpet and deny. While it must be incrediably difficult to make these decisions, it is good to make them now before the onset of grief comes in.

My heart is with you...