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Charlie's Soap


Monday, June 19
Stankfila and the _______

Where is everyone today? Father's Day must have been pretty wild or something, everyone is so quiet.

Let's write a story, we haven't done that in a while. I'll start, you add to it in the comments. Somebody play along so it looks like I have friends, OK? Here we go:

Stankfila was tired since she had arrived home late Sunday night from her impromptu weeked trip to Funderberg. When she staggered into the break room at work for a cup of coffee, she heard someone whisper her name from over near the vending machines: "Pssst, Stankfila. Over here!" She whipped around to look, and...
11:54 AM | Comments (16) |

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there she saw George, the object of her affection. Hiding behind the water cooler, George was wearing the tell tale outift of someone who had escaped police custody, an orange jump suit with the words "Funderberg County Jail" on the back.

Shocked to see him Stankfila dropped her coffee cup.....

and hurried over to him, ignoring the mess on the floor.

"George! What are you doing here? You know we can't be seen together not after last time!"

"I know Stankfila, but I just had to see you, I have no where else to go. I couldn't stand it in that place Stankfila. It was so dirty all the time and my sheets never matched! The cells are 6x6 but I measured mine and one wall was an inch shorter so I couldn't even sleep at night!"

"Dude, you are seriously OCD!"

"Are you going to clean that coffee up?"

Just then they heard footsteps in the hall...

And her boss Monkeybreath walked in. "George!" Monkeybreath exclaimed, "When did you get out?" Stankfila was dumbfounded that her boss seemed to know her lover. Stankfila felt as if things were moving in slow motion when George ran to embrace Monkeybreath. Just as their mouths were about to meet, George appeared to startle and collapsed to the floor. "YOU KILLED HIM!" Monkeybreath screamed at Stankfila, "Call 911! Stankfila killed my precious George!"

Stankfila was dumbfounded. Immediately, their weekend trip to Western Sizzlin Steakhouse came to mind. "If only...", she thought to herself, "George hadn't ordered..."

Posted by: mike | June 19, 2006 1:49 PM

the liver and onions. She should have seen it then... George was in love with MonkeyBreath.

Instinctively, she picked up the phone and dialed her dentist to make an appointment when she heard Monkeybreathe scream....

Posted by: -d | June 19, 2006 2:34 PM

"No, wait, he's not dead! He's swallowed his crown!" Monkeybreath was all over George, Heimliching that crown out of him and trying to get him to regain consciousness. "Oh George, no no! Not after you proposed this morning via IM! I haven't given you my answer yet!"

The phone was ringing now at the dentist's office, and Stankfila heard the receptionist answer, "Dr. Drill's office, how may I help you?" Stankfila calmly returned to phone to its cradle, turned to Monkeybreath, and...

"Oh no he DIDN'T" said Stankfila with left hand on her hip and right one making a half circle motion in the air. "He couldn't have!!!! He's still married to me!"
She shouted as she watched Monkeybreath's hands pull away from reviving George's limp body. Monkeybreath's jaw dropped and she slowly turned her head to Stankfila. "HE IS WHAT?"
"That's right GIRLFRIEND! Just last weekend while out on bail, we got hitched at the chapel next to Western Sizzlin Steakhouse. Aha!" replied Stankfila.
"You two-timin', cheatin', lyin', bastard!" shouted Monkeybreath as started slapping defensless George, and slaps turned into punches. Then, all of the sudden, George awoke....

Monkeybreath pulls out a Hanzo sword. Stankfila rips off her sensible navey blue power suit to reaveal a form fitting yellow jump suit with black stripes running down the sides. She attacks Monkeybreath, kicking her back inside the coffee shop. The two fight ferociously in the enclosed space, with neither gaining a clear advantage until Stanfila also manages to unsheath her Hanzo sword. The two attack one another, hampered somewhat by the extremely close quarters. With their swords locked together, Stankfila's hand suddenly darts out and snatches out Monekybreaths one remaining eye. Monkeybreath falls to the ground and thrashes about wildly, cursing and threatening Stankfila, who calmly collects her Hanzo sword and...

Posted by: Diane....aka the domestic goddess | June 19, 2006 3:29 PM

says "I really need to blog about this, but first!..."

Posted by: Ang | June 19, 2006 4:17 PM

"Be the first on your block to own the 2006 Hyundai, the gas-saving machine that comes in all the riotous colors: camoflauge, khaki, lemon and lime. Sign up now and be eligible to win your own Hanzo sword. Now, back to our program...."

That was a fun read!

Posted by: rhonda | June 19, 2006 8:00 PM

Don't worry - everyone loves you!

Don't worry - everyone loves you! At least least you get lots of visitors - sob...unlike...sobitty sniff...
Did that just come across as a really cheap attempt at getting more bloggy visits? Did it? (heheehheheeeee) Ah well, you can't blame a girl for trying!

she found her old best friend there to whom she has not contacted from a long time!

she was shocked and surprised and out of happiness her tears start rolling down her cheeks!!

this was actually a fun to explain the situation...

Posted by: Martin | June 20, 2006 7:43 AM

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