I think I will be walking my kids to their college classes and waiting for them out in the quads.... No, really I am trying to be better than that and I have had the same issue here too as my oldest is the same age as your oldest...

Of course, the problem I am having is that the drop off parents are the same ones that let their kids wander all over with out (seemingly) any supervision and have tried to entice my Angel into the worst of her behavior lately...

Sigh...Growing up sucks... when will I be done?

As long as she's with her friends, I'm ok for Tara (13 in September) to go to the movies without a mommy. Like you, we live in a good neighborhood and our theater always has off duty police/sherriff guys there.

snip snip snip... that the sound of the umbilical cord being cut! hahaha! Biz, New Orleans Girl started doing this right at this same exact time in life... summer after 6th grade. I know BG and she is a very responsible, good girl. I say she is good to go... especially if it is just her and some girlfriends. NOW, when the boys want to start going with them and there are about 20 of them all going together, then you might want to sneak into the back of the theater to "chaperone". Otherwise... she's growing up honey! and it's really OK! so long as there is trust - it's all good! : ) love ya!

I would say 13 as long as the kid is responsible and you know the friend she is with. I must say, the other parent should have been more exact with the facts. I won't let step kids go places alone but they aren't there yet socially. Long bumpy road.

#1 Boy (12 years old) goes alone (with one or two male friends) to the movies now. And twice, #1 and #2 (nine years old) have gone to the movies alone together.

Couple of things, though - I stand in line with them and, when they buy their tickets, I ask the ticketseller exactly what time the movie lets out. I make sure to be right there to fetch them when it's over.

Also, our theatre is very close and is in the same mini-mall as our regular grocery store where the cashiers know our boys by name. I'm positive they wouldn't have any problems, but, if they did, the boys know they could go there for help.

Oh - one more thing - all of these movies of which I speak are matinees.

I don't think our son went with friends till he was in high school. I suspect our daughter will ask to do it sooner, but I will probably be cautious. Part of the problem here is that the theater of choice is a big multiplex where you turn in your ticket at the main entrance, and then could actually go into any movie you want to (the exception being big openings where they do check tickets at the individual theater).

Around age 12-13 is when we started to allow this. One parent drops off and another picks up immediately after the movie. I make sure I see them go in though... and since almost all the kids have cellphones with them it's never too much of a concern.

I think it's fine that BusyGirl was allowed to do this.

Okay, just thinking about this makes me break out in a cold sweat, so clearly I'm not the person to answer your question. Back to my fantasy that my kids won't age past 5 years now.

When the 15-year-old was a 'tween,' I or another parent would always be somewhere in the theater -- definitely not in his 'space.' His big sister (who is now officially the '19 year-old') has never minded sharing space with parents. Back in the last century, when I was a tween, I went to movies by myself on my bike and got in free on Tuesday mornings in the summer with six RC bottle caps.

The first time my mother let me go alone was with my 18 year old cousin. I was 10. And my other cousin worked at the movie theater. I think I started going alone to the movies as a freshman in high school...however even now at the age of 26, I love going to see movies with my dad...that is if I can interest him in seeing the types of movies I like.

You people who have trouble letting go: I understand that, but it's not gonna be forever. Give up now, Mom, because you got a life, too.

P.S. I think I was 10 when I first went to the movies alone.

My parents wouldn't let us see a movie without them without knowing what it was. Once the tickets were bought, though, they were fine with leaving us alone. I think I was 11 the first time I saw a movie without them right there in the theater. Still, I'd have it more carefully worked out the next time about if the other parent is staying, what movie they are seeing and what time it ends, so there aren't two tweens just sitting outside of a movie theater by themselves.

All the rules keep changing and I like reading the comments to see what is acceptable now. But, it brings a question to my mind? This isn't any that you would have to know, but...isn't there an age when social services say that kids can be left at home alone? Or rather an age when they are considered too young to be alone? What age is that? And when are they old enough to babysit? Just curious.

In order to be consistant with my daughter who turned 13 in April I have always asked a bunch of questions about who what where when. It has always been that way so that I know specifics and so she knows that I am always going to ask and have and will check up on her at any given moment. I let her go to the movies with friends this year as well. Me dropping her off and picking her up when it's over. Course, we live on streets and avenues not a neigborhood so I only now have let her ride her bike further than the next block.

I think we were allowed to go alone in seventh grade. We do live in a small town and although some may say it is a false sense of security, there are always people at the movies that we know, and no parent lived more than 5 minutes away.

I was allowed to go to the mall on Friday nights and go to movies with friends starting in 7th grade. I don't think it occurred to us to do so any earlier (6th grade was part of elementary school for us and 7th grade was junior high, so that year was quite the turning point).

If I were you, I'd feel relieved that you'll soon no longer have to watch the crap they make for kids. :)

I don't think I was even in middle school yet when I first started going on parentless movie outings, but that was in a nearly crime-free town, almost twenty years ago. I think it really depends on the maturity of the child and how well you know/trust her friends.

My 13-year-old started going to movies without an adult, in small groups of friends, last year when she was in 7th grade. The parents take turns dropping off and picking up. It has been fine, so far. I agree with Judi in that I also must have all details before giving a "yes." Every new independence is scary, though, so go at your own pace.

Now see I find the home alone question intriguing. I remember very specifically the first time I stayed home alone. I was seven. My parents worked about 1/2 mile away. And we lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone...and so they would take my younger sisters with them sometimes on a weekend to work, but I was allowed to stay home if I wished, for an hour or so. That seems almost crazy in a big city to even contemplate, though I look at my 7-year-old and she could handle many situations that might arise. But I.would.freak.out.every.single.minute. So I am chalking that one up to "different time, different place."

I was allowed to do this from age 10, provided I was with a friend, of course. Depends on how responsible the kid is, and it sounds to me like Busy Girl is a pretty responsible kid. Exhale!

I think you have to be 10 to stay alone, and 12 to babysit..tho I know many 17 year olds that shouldn't be left home alone..

I'm with Libary Mom, I think BG is age appropriate to stay at the theater with friends during the day but definitely not on a Fri or Sat night.

No brainer. You sit a row behind.

Can't help you. Every time we go to Target, my six-year-old asks to go to the men's room by himself. Today the conversation ended with him asking, "What does OVER MY DEAD BODY mean, exactly, Mama?"

BusyMom,

I have twin 12 year old boys and I keep telling them that I want to be able to drop them off at the movies. To be able to trust that they would go to the movie and then call me when they were done. They haven't earned that trust and it kills me that they are almost 13 and still aren't trusted to go to the movies or skating rink with each other. I'd send my 10 year old with his friend before I'd send them. I think girls are much more mature at this age (12-13) and if you trust your daughter and know who she's going to be with...then I think she's old enough.

We are dealing with this right now with Hannah.She is 12.She wants us to drop her off bexcause all of her friends parents do this.I'm just not comfortable with it.Our theater is large and there are always alot of people there.
I've told her that I will take her and sit several rows back from her so it feels like she is there alone,but I just don't think she is ready to be left.

13. And we call and find out exactly what time the movie ends, and we're there five minutes early.

I think it just depends on the maturity of the kid and readiness of the parents. Which, admittedly, is not much help.

i'm getting sick just reading all this! my 12 yr old (girl) isn't anywhere near ready, but that's a special case.

still, i'd be the one to drop off and then slip in behind a few minutes later. you know, checking up and supervising incognito, just to be sure all was well.

Um,

I'm having issues letting my nine year old go to the park that's IN my neighborhood at the END of my street alone... I worry I'm being too sheltering.

I'd say 13 for the movies. Right around the age I plan to enlist her help babysitting.

Can 13 year olds babysit four year olds?

There are far too many factors for a one-size-fits-all answer: where you live, the nature of the kid, the people she's with, how she's getting there, the day of the week, the time of the day, what movie, etc.

I have two teens, and the answer was different for each of them, as it will be when the teen-in-training arrives at that stage. Best solution (in my humble opinion)- listen to the quiet little voice inside of you (not the loud one that constantly screams "BUT SHE'S MY BABY!") That's where you'll find your answer.

If you actually trust your kids, you should let them go and enjoy their life. BUT, the kid should be responsible enough to understand the good and bad for him/her. It all depends upon the mutual understanding between parents and children.

My mom was very protective of me (I'm the "baby" of the family.) The first time I went to a movie unattended I believe I was 11 or 12 but the mom dropped us off...she was dating my dad so my mom didn't even know about it. Not good! But I think at around age 12 or so is fine provided they are mature and responsible and you have an appointed spot to pick them up promptly after the movie. (Snaps her mama whip.)

Lots of good thoughts already given so, and I am unsure myself although somewhere around the 13 or so age (depending on the maturity of the child) sounds about right to me.

(And for the one person that asked (at least in New Jersey), a child can not be left home unattended under 8 years old)

But, what freaks me out most here is the "surprise factor" that seemed to have taken place. Perhaps it is merely a case of "assuming" what the parent was going to do, but in a similar situation, if I had expected a parent to be acting as a chaperone for something like this (which you obviously did) and found that not to be the case, I can not say that I would have been as OK with it as you seem to be.

All of this reminded me of the time my mom was working and asked my father to take me to see Pinnochio. He decided he would have rather seen Beverly Hills Cop, so he dropped me off at my theater, and he went to his, with directions that if my movie was over first, to come into his and find a seat and wait.

I was all of 6. And ended up watching a good 30 minutes of Beverly Hills Cop.

my oldest is a tween ... she'll be 12 in December

and we are no where near ready to leave her and a friend at the theater alone

right now the closest we'd probably get is to let them sit a few rows away from us

LOL

im neurotic though

I didn't read all your comments, but I think I'm in the thick of things with around 12 years old. My children were ready at that age. One parent droped the kids off, and the other was there to pick them up when the movie was done. You know your kids -- you'd have to know they'd be comfortable with the situation, and what they should do.

But the real thing here, I think , is that you were unaware that there wasn't going to be a parent with them. You had the impression the other mom was staying, and she didn't.

She was wrong to assume this was o.k. with you without asking. The decision whether it was o.k. for your daughter to be alone should have been made by you, not her.

Here the kids seem to do it in 6th grade. Which would be this year for Pre Kvetch. Girls at "the other school" were doing it in 5th grade, but they have BOYFRIENDS too and are way ahead. Ha! I am not comfortable with it at all and am not sure it's going to happen. My daughter looks like a little girl, not like a teenager, at almost 11. That is a good thing I think, but also leaves her vulnerable, no? I'm hoping that sprucing up our basement and being a pizza-ordering, have them all here, kind of house is going to win out over the movies. Oh, and I'd more likely let her go eventually during the day. In 7th grade my son went at night. OUCH

i think when they can drive themselves is when they can go to a movie alone. i don't know what driving laws are now, but i could drive when i was 16 and that felt like a good age to go to the movies without parental supervision. i'm sure i went to a few movies without parents before then though.

from my perspective now though--it's inconvenient to take your kid, go get some friends, drop them off, then do it all in reverse 2 hours later. so if i were a parent, no movie watching without me.

I think it depends on a lot of things. The kids maturity, the area and who they are with! We probably let that happen around 14 or so, limited though, until they were a little older.

I still go to the movies alone!

I used to go alone when I was 13. My mom had a curfew for me, so I wasn't allowed home until a certain time.

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