Today is the last day of school before Christmas, thank goodness.
Aside from the fact that everyone likes a vacation, we really need the time to get the weekday routine together.
Usually, when school starts, we have a routine, and, it's pretty well executed in terms of homework, baths, dinner, various practices, bedtimes, and, preparing for the next day. As the end of the year goes on, it tends to deteriorate a bit, but, we are saved by Christmas vacation.
However, this school year, I feel like we really never got it together. I think part of it is because of my dad's back problem and surgery when I was never home, as well as Busy Boy starting football this year, as it can be all consuming with practice several evenings a week.
My biggest problem is that I feel like we spend the entire evening, every single night, dealing with the kids, their homework, and, getting ready for the next day.
Seriously, from the time I get home from work until they go to bed, many times too late, it is one thing after, another after another. Those things don't even include cleaning the house, washing the dishes or doing laundry much less spending "quality" time with them.
It's not really even because of any extra curricular things they are involved in, either, because we've done these things for years without this type of disruption. It's more that we've fallen into a "default" schedule that we don't seem to be very good at changing.
I hear that there are parents who put their darlings to bed at the same time each night so they can enjoy a leisurely evening together watching TV or reading. I can't tell you the last time we've both been awake after putting the kids to bed, much less watched TV, or hell, even spoken for that matter.
Part of it may be because of the age differences. The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby is so much younger than the other two that his needs are different, and, it takes one person's full attention to get him on track to bedtime.
Busy Girl is pretty independent, though she has mastered the art of looking very busy while doing nothing that actually needs to be done. She should be good and ready for the workforce in no time. Her contribution to the routine chaos is usually in the mornings as her personal care regime is getting longer and longer as she gets older.
Busy Boy.
Busy Boy. Though he usually does his homework without complaint, there are big discrepancies in what constitutes "finished". Even though he is in 5th grade, we still have to closely go over his homework, and, this takes a lot of time. Sure, we could just let him take the consequences of not doing something right, but, I honestly don't think he'd make the connection the next time he did homework, and, I'm not willing to let his grades slip to prove a point he might not be ready to understand, yet.
We often have to follow him around the house since he has this weird way of disappearing. Seriously, I think I spend a goodly percentage of the evening looking for him in our own home. He's not up to anything, it's just that he never seems to be where he supposed to be. Sometimes if we're in a hurry to get to bed, I literally walk with him through his routine so I know he actually gets in the bed.
I have a bad habit of expecting him to understand the importance of getting ready ahead of time for the next day, afterall, he is only a kid, but, you'd think after a few years of this he'd know at least some of what needs to be done before bed. But, it seems that every day is a surprise for him. "Pack my backpack?" Really? Well, OK."
I'm not really looking for advice (though it doesn't offend me, or anything), because I know what needs to be done, but, unfortunately, I'm not always the one home when some of these things need to be started. The other adult in the house and I don't always agree on some of these matters.
But, if you are the parent of grade school kids who actually has time to do things on weekday evenings after your fed, bathed and prepared for school the next day children go to bed in a timely manner and on their own, I want to meet you, and, get my picture taken with you.
But, I suspect that you are like Big Foot. People think they've seen you and you make a good magazine article, but, you can't really be proved.
Recent Entries on Busymom.net:
- Dorm room planning, or not quite a college mom blog
- Summer's here
- Baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Renfest
- Sing. Fly. Mate. Die.
- What do cicadas sound like?
As a fellow only child (and girl), all I can say is "Welcome to Boy World!" It is unlike any other place you've ever been and often difficult for the female brain to understand. Be patient - they do have to grow up!
It really gets nuttier as it goes, doesn't it? I say that all the time anymore because, well, it's my life of late. You're so much more organized than I am. You have a method anyway. It's chaos here.
I offer absolutely no advice. Now that my kids are out of the house and somewhat grown, i've repressed those years, but I do want to follow up on your Busy Girl comment. As a state employee for many many years, i'm thinking that B.G. has a place in middle, if not upper management with the state. We have good benefits, get a fair amount of holidays, have pretty good job security if you can get thru the first six months. I know she is still a youngster, but she already seems prepared for a life with the state...
Bigfoot indeed. We are out of the house three to four nights a week ourselves, (but for church activites - which the kids stay home for two nights of) It really is all in a routine isn't it? When my (our) routine gets off, it whacks everything. But, tonight it is 8:13 the boy (five years old) is just to bed, the daughter (13) is spending the night and the hub and I are eating hummus and drinking wine.....(oh, and he is on his computer and I on mine....lol....couple time...at least until the boy is asleep.) Every once in a while the God's do shine down on us! No advice here, just a hug and a pat and a knowing look......
This year got away from us, too. Having illness and death in the family disrupts longer and deeper than the obvious parts that one would expect. More than making me too busy to get a routine going, it makes that part of me that sets the routine and sees routine as good, go away. More than just Apathy. It is like I could get something done if I could take the first step, but I was already on step four and it is too late to go back and pick up the first step. Confused, yeah, I am. But, I get what you are saying. Sue
Busy Mom, Busy Mom, I feel your pain, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn't get easier as they grow up. Mine are 14 (girl)and 11 (boy) and it is utter chaos here at all times. The house cleaning and laundrey NEVER get completely done. We usually do just enough to get by.And I too look forward to Christmas holiday so we can get back on track.
I think I've seen my future.
Now stop scaring me. I have to go talk to my husband and watch TV, since it appears this will be my last chance.
I hear ya Busy Mom. It's universal--or at least national! Hubby was home "working" all day while I was out putting a serious dent in the Xmas shopping, and I came home to a big mess in the kitchen...and the kids were all, like "Where've you been?!!" Thank god it's Friday, now!
Ok, my baby is only 17 months old and I have yet to meet the elusive "alone time" after he goes to bed.
You have my respect, with three children. I have one and I'm insane.
I second Susan's comment! Here's to enjoying this stage of life while it lasts! My kids, 6 & 2 are in bed by 8pm everynight!
ok. Now I think I may never want kids or to get married for that matter. I'm going to go hide now.
Our evenings are exactly like that. But we do actually watch TV together-- the TV we have taped during the week, which we watch on weekends. But we don't always get to it, for sure.
Actually, it's the very fact that our weekends are like that that made me want to work at home. It doesn't change our evenings, but it does change the rest of my day in that I am home more than I used to be (which was never) and that makes a little bit of a difference.
But I hate homework. I hate it. I wish we could all just be home and eat dinner and flop and not just be go go go all the time.
The same problem here. It's always a chaos.
My husband and I also have our differences so bed time is a stress for me. I haven't seen a movie or just watch TV at night in months, I'm always too exhausted. I wish I could change this.
I use to be that Big Foot Mom but times are a changing. My older two were always in bed by 8:30 and I was in on my way to bed as soon as I mopped the kitchen floor, put everything in its place. Snow White is a different story, she was born 9 yrs after the doctor said "I regret to inform you...you will have no more children."
This school year we were on track with everyone getting out of the house on time but getting to bed really is not our thing. We started the school year out well, then we moved to a new state and then there were "bumps in the night", "scary shadows" (delete night lights) and then bed time for everyone, even Mom was 10pm.
Tonight we just finished up Part 1 of the Sioux, Native American (I am to be beaten with a wet wire brush each time I say Indian) diarama.
Anyone know where I can get raw suede, buffalo horns or miniture figures of buffalo by Thursday?
So its a bit crazy/hectic in Mommas World but if it were calm and neat as a pin who would want to live here? :-)
Another note on Big Foot...When my son was 11 and we were video taping Snow White he shot the camera over to me and said "Wow look at that! There is more footage of Big Foot than my Mom. Welcome to world of photography Mom!"
You pretty much described my life minus busy girl. I have a son in the 5th grade and a 4 yr old son in preschool. I normally get home from work around 6 each night. My life is a maze of school work, dinner, practice for this or that, baths, bedtime and preparing for the next day. I see my husband maybe an hour or so each night before we both pass out into bed for our 6 hours of sleep each night. If there are parents out there with a solution I am all ears.