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Charlie's Soap


Wednesday, December 20
Holiday Attention Deficit Disorder

I think I have some sort of Holiday Attention Deficit Disorder.

I cannot concentrate on anything. Except eating. Ability to eat has remained intact, but, actually now that I think about it, I can't really say that I'll ever finish eating, so, chalk that up to one more incomplete thing.

I am about to finish off the box of wankers sitting here in a gift basket. It's actually "Walker's" shortbread, but, I kept reading it as "Wankers" while it sat there in all it's shrink wrapped glory. So, I opened it. And I ate it.

Keeping the Very Phallic Christmas theme alive, Busy Chatty Employee just opened the summer sausage in the basket. Have yourself a meat stick little Christmas...

Yeah, anyway...

I have much Christmas stuff to do, but, I can't seem to complete anything.

I have no idea if I've finished Christmas shopping or not. Since the Rulers of the Night are out of school, I'm having a hard time dragging the loot out of the closet and assessing the situation. Although, if I had to guess, they could probably tell me what's in there.

Don't even talk to me about having to wrap stuff.

I tried to do some shopping last night, but, it was getting to the point where I was just walking around in circles, and, anything for a gift was looking good. I departed Target when I was thinking thoughts such as, "Fondue! I'll bet The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby would like a fondue set."

My Christmas photo cards came in the mail, and, I guess I think they're jut going to address themselves and hop into the mailbox, because I've not done anything about them.

I've even been a bad mommyblogger because I didn't tell you any engaging or horrific story about taking the picture of the kids for the card.

I've finally found the secret, though. It goes something like this: "You've got 10 minutes to get ready for the Christmas card picture. I decide what you wear, and, the longer you complain, the longer this whole thing is going to take. Now, smile and look festive, because I've got nowhere to be, and, we can do this all day if we need to."

While I've been busy not finishing shopping or the cards, I've also been partially thinking about what we're going to eat, and, how I'm going to find time to cook it. Seems the MIL, the Left-Overs Taking Son, and, the Prodigal Son will be joining us for Christmas.

We usually go there, but, I guess I'm glad we don't have to travel. I am however, worried about having to give up more beef tenderloin than I want to. Kidding. Mostly. (If you are new to this place, I am made of 99% red meat).

So, though my to-do list is probably no different than most people's, I am just having trouble executing it.

I think it's because it just doesn't "feel" like Christmas to me.

I'm not bitter, depressed, or angsty about anything, but, my lack of Christmas feeling despite multiple viewings of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", and, this pesky job that wants me to, you know, work, is making it hard to finish anything that can't be eaten.

11:20 AM | Comments (14) |

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I am suffering the same malady. I went to Target last night and wandered around aimlessly, finally coming home with only two items. I'm not sure who's getting the ice tea and fish oil tablets, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Your Christmas card photo threats - amazing work!

I am thinking that a nice chilled bottle of riesling and two straws might be the cure. At least if you're not getting things done, you may not feels as guilty (or simply won't care).

Posted by: Paul | December 20, 2006 12:31 PM

Because we are flying to Disney World at 12:30 a.m. on Dec. 25, we're doing Christmas Saturday morning. Is anything wrapped yet? Heck no! Guess you know what I'll be working on the next couple of days...

Let me know how those self-addressing cards work for you. I may need to get some myself.

You and I are on the same page on MANY things right now.

1. Eating... I'm not doing cookies or snacky things but yesterday I catered in Quizno's for a lunch meeting and the extra's found their way into my refrigerator. I was munching on a Cabo Chicken Sandwich and Diet Pepsi by 9:20 am.

2. The kids photo? Get something white on right now and get down here. Ok - sit there, and there and you - there. Now SMILE. I SAID SMILE DANGIT! Ok the longer it takes to get a decent shot the longer we sit here. (All done with BabyGirls best friend sitting there WATCHING AND WAITING for us to be done!) Nothing like having an audience.

3. Not sure if I'm done or not on shopping. The loot is in the closet and although I've wrapped about 2 gifts each I have no idea what is lurking in there. I've forgotten and I've no time to check nor wrap. I hope the magical wrapping elves are working this year because those gifts may have to wrap themselves.

As for feeling like Christmas? Nope. Not a bit. Feels like October 4th or something... but not Christmas. I have even tried to listen to carols and xmas songs 4 or 5 times and nope - couldn't stand it. Turned it off.

I baked my Christmas goodies this year to the random music on my computer in my 70's - 90's folder.


You and I must be living parallel lives - well, except that I don't have the excuse of the working thing ... which makes my malady even less excusable! When you figure out the proper mix of meds and drinks ... let me know! Good luck

Posted by: beachmommy | December 20, 2006 1:53 PM

I've got HADD and am in total denial.

Let's just say I feel your pain and you just reminded me that now I'm going to have to go in to my office to retrieve the Santa gifts I have hidden there.

Shopping - finished.

Wrapping - mostly finished. Except for the stuff heading to PA on the 26th. But there's never anything to do Christmas night, anyway--right?

Baking - not so much.

Tree decorating - finished an hour ago.

House decorating - as finished as it's going to get.

Christmas spirit - on its way. One hopes.

Okay, Busy MOm! LEt's get out the sparkly red and green gel pens and make a list! And, as you complete them you get to cross them off in the coordinating color and eat a Hershey Kiss!

Okay, the Hershey Kiss has nothing to do with the list, but they are sitting on my desk calling my name, so naturally I'm gonna answer.

I have my Christmas shopping complete for the most part. Even the neighbors Velvet Santa bags full of wonderful gifts but I do need a Cherry Gibson which I am having trouble locating one under $1,000.

Today it really felt like Christmas was really just around the corner. Two holiday luncheons in the office today and Snow White's Christmas play is this Friday. After the luncheon all I could think about was how much I am looking forward to the Christmas play! Work? Oh that's right I still have to go to work until Friday but you are right, most of the work force is off for the holidays or on the physically or mentally already "left the office" list.

Posted by: Mommas World | December 21, 2006 12:30 AM

Feeling your pain! I keep going to the store and getting one thing, then realizing I forgot the other five things I was there for. Or I buy presents for myself instead of other people.

Do what my mom does with presents: hire a responsible older neighbor kid or Busy Girl to wrap presents for $20. They might not be perfect, but at least they're done.

Merry Phallic Christmas.

Eh, the spirit hasn't hit me yet either. I'm not expecting much.