Busy Girl had her first volleyball game of the season yesterday.
This year has taken a more serious turn, as the previous years have been a "learning league", so, now there is a state athletic association referee, line judges, etc.
I was minding my own business before the game started. OK, I was contemplating what I was going to buy from the snack bar after Busy Girl left to warm up, so I wouldn't have to buy her anything since I had very little money.
So, sue me. I was broke, and, she makes more money as a soccer referee than I make in a month. She should have been buying me a snack.
Anyway, I was approached by the coach, and, I greeted her thinking she was coming over to chat, since I know her:
Coach: "I need you for a line judge."
Me: "Do what?"
Coach: "You ever done it before?"
Me: "Never."
Coach: "OK, come on, then."
Me: "Huh"?
Coach: "Get up."
So, I got up, and, made my way to the scorer's table where I was met by a very professional, "Volleyball is my life", referee
Referee: "You the line judge?"
Me: "Yep."
Referee:"You ever done it before?"
Me: "Never."
Referee: "OK" (translated: "damn newb")
Me: "I'm trainable."
She explained what I needed to do, and, put me on the same side as her perch so she could watch me.
It wasn't too bad, though Busy Girl was mortified I was out there in some official capacity, and, I was wishing I hadn't chosen to wear shorts for the first time this season, as the white of my whiteness was clearly displayed for everyone else who got to the snack bar.
The referee quizzed me about a couple of calls that I knew she could see, but, other than that, I wasn't having much action.
Apparently, I zoned out at some point.
Busy Girl went for a dig, and, missed, but, I guess the ball must have been close to the line.
The referee stopped the game, and, looked at me expectantly:
Referee: "Well?"
Me: "What?"
Referee: "What was it?"
Me: "Huh?" (I had been watching Busy Girl play)
Referee: "Was it in or out?"
Me: (Oh, shit) "Yes."
Referee: "Huh?"
Me: "It was i..ou..IN! It was in."
Referee: "Are you sure?"
Me: ''Completely."
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That'll teach you to hang out and watch your daughter's volleyball games. Such pressure. Was your call for or against your daughter's team? I know nothing about volleyball.
Next time wear very thick glasses and they'll assume you are nearly blind. The myopic make terrible line judges.
Next time they ask you, mess something up on purpose and they'll never ask you again!
Also, as follow up to the daycare study business from earlier this week, did you see the excellent article in Slate? I posted a link to it on my blog...
How do we get ourselves into these things...oh yeah, it's by having children. Have you ever tried to keep the scorebook in baseball??? So much to do, while you are trying to watch you own little darling tossing his glove up into the air and kicking dirt in right field while the other team is batting...such pressure. The coach only asked me to do it once...wonder why? :-)
Next time tell them you forgot your glasses and are TOTALLY blind without them. Or you could say you are hypoglycemic and need to get to the snack bar pronto! Health problems can't be argued with.
I love volleyball, and I play every year, but I hate reffing. I suck at it. I just can't see from up high in the ref booth!
You should have made the call against your daughter's team, then the coach would have looked for another sucker, er "volunteer"' next time.
Do they know where to send the check?
That's great! It sounds so much like me. Thank goodness they haven't asked me to do this yet for Anna's league!
You already made it further into the land of ref-dom than I EVER could! I think my coke-bottle glasses will probably scare off every coach around!
Hey did I miss something? When exactly did you "Offer" to help? That'll teach 'em to call on the hungry woman that just wanted a snack. Next time at least they should buy you a snickers bar or something first ;)
Bwahaaa! That's freakin' hysterical.
The rule is - if you're gonna make a call, good or bad be 100% sure.
Next time, go hide in the restroom until right before the game starts. I'm not saying this from experience or anything, it just sounds like it might work.
HA! You are so living my life! We just finished 6th grade volleyball yesterday (that ironically my 6th AND 5th graders play on). I kept thinking that they were going to ask me to run the score board or the book (both of which I can do, despite never playing the game) but I got to watch!..
The game took forever to finish! An hour and a half... Eventually we won! 15-13, 11-15, 15-13.... GO FLAMES!
My guess is that they'll NEVER ask you to "volunteer" for that job again :)
Sure I can fly this plane. No, I've never done it before and I failed physics twice, but I'm trainable.
I organize this post to be deeply useful. I am using it in a gazette I am writing at college.
La Martina