You do what you have to do. I was appalled when my teenagers decided that they wanted no more birthday parties. I was more into them than they were. Sad, isn't it?

I think I love you...

Oops, I'm sorry, was that inappropriate?

I don't have children (yet, and may never) and I throughly don't understand todays obsession with the uber-expensive everyone-invited party for a 4 year old (or any other age).

When I (we?) were kids, birthdays consisted of a few close friends, a cake, and the birthday kid getting to choose what mom cooked for dinner (my choice was always pancakes). I really miss those days.

it's my birthday too. I didn't know we shared B'days. Happy Birthday Busy Baby ( who isn't a baby any longer - l0l)

No way will I give my age but we just went out to eat, no cake and ice cream but it was fun and nice. I had a nice day and hope Busy Baby did to.

Again, Happy B'day to us!!!

Happy Birthday Busy Preschooler! Are you five years old now? Guess what, DeeDee is one!

She didn't have much of a birthday party, either. A dinner with family, a couple of gifts and of course her very own little birthday cake.

Happy Birthday um, to your youngest. Do you copy and paste or type out that whole thing every time?

I hate big expensive birthday parties. My kids get invited to them a lot. They have birthday party places here, seriously you pay a ton of money and they send the invites, have the cake & pizza, bouncy rooms, teenage help, clean up, etc. It's like private Chuck E. Cheeses.

When they get to school age, if someone doesn't put their foot down, it becomes a kind of protection racket. Your kids end up with expectations of a party with LOTS of presents, because they attend parties of their friends, who get LOTS of presents.

So, about once a month, one of the parents puts a couple hundres dollars in Chuck E Cheese's coffers, and all the other kids' parents head to toys R us, who also gets paid.

All to avoid the parental guilt trips our chidren are so good at.

It's a protection scheme, I tell ya!

I'm with you. I don't do big birthday parties. My 6 year old is allowed to invite 2 or 3 kids over to our house for a playdate for his party. My 2 YO, never had a party yet!

Seriously, I don't need the toys that come with the party nor the hassle! I don't have $200 to spend on some rented place!

Birthday parties are to honor the child in question, not to go into debt throwing insanely exhausting and impressive parties. I have a friend who had 4 children in 6 years time. Her kids only get parties on their 5th, 12th and 18th birthdays. The other years, the kiddo gets their favorite dinner and cake with the fam. Sounds like a plan!

My own Silly-Head will be 6 in May. She makes it easy for us because her only real friend is...her sister!

I had the exact same thinking this year. Little Princess didn't have a big party this year. She will have a party next year when she is in Kindergarten and when she will have these kids in her life for longer.

Yea, I remember my older bro had the huge HUGE parties for the landmark years, 5, 10, 18, etc, and I and my younger brother just...didn't. We didn't think anything of it at the time, but damn if we didn't get gipped because our parents had gone through the whole thing once already.
It sucks to be anything but the eldest, I tell ya....

My son turned five a couple of months ago, and we did the same thing you did. We can hold the big festivities for next year.

My boy didn't have a birthday party until he was four. I took the money I would have spent on a party and took him to see "Sesame Street Live", "Blue's Clue's Live", and "Bear in the Big Blue House Live" for the first three years.

Now we have parties, but I DON'T GIVE OUT GOODY BAGS. I haven't had any grief from anyone about that either.

I meant to drop by yesterday to wish TPFKABB a happy birthday but I was reformatting my puter.

So...happy birthday big guy. Hope it's the best ever! Tell mommy to buy you some canned air.

xxxooo

I was one of six kids, so a family dinner WAS a party (we got to pick the menu and what kind of cake we wanted). I had a party for friends when I was 9 and when I was 16. Oh, and my dh threw me a surprise party for my 30th. Since our kids are 10 years apart, I felt they should have parties. Most were pretty low-key, and 12 is the last one. Unfortunately, in a weak moment, I promised our daughter a Sweet 16. She's thinking it will be a Big Deal, while I'm thinking we'll take 3 friends out to dinner.

My daughter turns four in less than 2 weeks and we're not doing a party either. The only parties we've had involved family. No other kids.

I'm in the same camp as you - once she starts school officially where she is with kids she'll be friends with for the next 10-15 years, then she can have a party.

An out of state friend I have known for years shocked me when she said “We don’t celebrate birthdays. When the kids need things I buy them. When they have excelled at something they receive a gift.” I was like ‘Are you serious? No birthdays…ever?!’ She has a teenager, a younger boy and a 5 year old daughter.

For my own children they have family birthday parties until they are in school. This has worked out well since they don’t really remember their 1-4th birthday parties. The first few all out birthday parties were held at my house. I catered the whole thing myself which required 3 days of constant preparation after working 9 hours and taking care of regular family items. The day of the party there was a lot of work involved in keeping the party rolling (young children need someone to structure the party). After the party it was a lot of work to clean every thing up. Having the party at Chuckie Cheese, arcade, build-a-bear, local Pizza parlor, etc. now appeals to me. I can actually enjoy the party with my children. This year I have decided to give a slumber party for Snow White which she has constantly asked for since this past fall. I am sure I will be worn out and wishing the party was only for a few hours and not messing up my house. Now that she is at the age to remember what her birthdays are like I am willing to slave over this party to give her wonderful memories.

Wow! He's 5! HBD PFKABB!

We just celebrated my son's 3rd, at his uncle's 50th b-day party. I didn't even make him a cake (gasp!). We haven't had a "real" party for him yet -- just us and Grandma. Once he's in school I'm sure we will. Like you, our friends had their babies years ago...

The Boy is two and a half and hasn't had a big official birthday party, ever. Not even at school because my mom comes up to spend the day with him on his birthday, so he doesn't even go to school that day. We have family celebrations where there is cake and ice cream and blowing out candles, but that's it, and you know, I don't think he's going to grow up scarred. I was at an ice cream parlor this weekend and there was a birthday party for what appeared to be a one year old based on the age of most of the kids in attendance. I thought that was a little much, but then again The Boy didn't even eat ice cream until his first birthday. I am such a mean mom!!

Happy belated birthday to the former Busy Baby!

They are all growing up way too fast...

We started the "full party" regalia just last year (kindergarten) as well. Although surprisingly, she chose to invite more friends from her Pre-K school than from her actual Kindergarten class.

That took a convenient twist, as when we switched her school this year, she actually wound up with a number of those kids as classmates again (luckily for us).

Even still, we give her a set number of kids she is allowed to invite. And we keep it relatively simple. None of those "all out affairs" that some kids seem to be having.

I'd agree that Busy Boy does deserve a party this year as well. But that might be my own issue, as I "lost" several birthdays as a kid to grandparents and other relatives dying. So, I (sort of) remember being "lost in the shuffle" and not being all too happy about it.

I've got a 7yo daughter and 5yo son. We've never done an invite other kids sort of birthday party. My parents and grandparents live nearby, as do my husband's mother and brother (who is married with two kids), so a family get-together is enough. I make a cake, we put some meat on the grill, and the rest of the family brings side dishes, and that's our party. No themes, no crafts, no goody bags-none of that.

When DD was in kindergarten, we did decide to throw a halloween party for kids in her class. Her birthday is the week after, and somehow a halloween party seemed less of a fuss than a birthday party. And it wasn't bad. We had snacks, but not a birthday cake. We sidestepped the presents or no presents debate. We did bobbing for apples, but otherwise let the costumes be the entertainment. It wasn't bad, but I got it out of my system. For her last birthday I just told DD to pick a friend and invite her over to spend the night. That was it. I think that might become our tradition.

You are my HERO. Birthday parties are out of control, and you shouldn't be dreading a birthday, should you?

I have to admit that my son (who turned 4 in January) hasn't had a blow-out bash on his birthdays either. First of all, he's in daycare so all his 'people' are there already. I don't have to 'reserve' a venue. The parents don't have to drive their little one on a Saturday. AND his birthday is so close to the holidays that we're plum tuckered out to try to organize anything. Like you....I'll probably DO something when my boy is in kindergarten. But for now? 4 years and no party....

With our first, it was all about the party - fish theme party in the back yard, moonwalk party another year, bowling for THIRTY kids when he turned 5...gads, it exhausts me just thinking about it.

Now, with #2, we just do the family-do-something thing. It so is not worth it at this age. And, with the older one now, he just invites a couple of friends to come do something special with us. Works out well (and we can afford to give them cooler gifts that way).

Why spend all that money on a big birthday party and stress out about one day when he won't see them ever again? Don't feel bad, feel liberated!

I'm a soon to be parent who's not aghast at the fact that you didn't have a "party" for your little tyke. It obviously wasn't very important to him, so I would say why bother? You'd have ended up with a bunch of strung-out children that you didn't really know on your hands, and you probably wouldn't have remembered it fondly.

When I was a little kid, I remember that I was allowed to invite as many people as I was turning. So, for my 8th birthday, I was allowed to invite 8 friends from school. It was fun that way because as I got older, I was allowed to have more friends over - just another thing to look forward to.

I just wanted to see you go over 26 comments. So this should be number 27.

I had a birthday recently, and nobody took me to Chuck E Cheese. Dang it.

Yeah, it worked out well.

We spent nothing on her trip back to the park and all is well.

Success!

My mom has just been at my cousin's 1 year birthday party (she was born on Nashville tornado day last year) and she told me "Oh, next year it will be you throwing a one year birthday party"

Nope. Not me. I think you need to be old enough to ask for a birthday party and maybe help plan it.

Besides, I don't want to set any precedents.

We have never thrown the large over-the-top party but we certainly get invited to a lot. Fortunately, with the 7yo's friends, the no-present party is very popular.

The 7yo turns 8 in a month and a half, and she informs me she wants to invite FIFTEEN children to the pool party [ya, ya, so we have a pool. I also need a new HVAC and my water heater might explode any minute....it's not all fun & games at my house] she's planning. Just stop and think about 15 8-year-olds in the small pool in my backyard. And siblings. And parents.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH.

This seems like a fine year to implement the invite-the-number-of-friends-that-you-are-old rule.

It's like I'm looking into the crystal ball for John M., poor little third child.

Caitlin was invited to one of those bouncy extravaganza places and has held on to that idea for months now. Just last year (for her 4th) we went up to the local pizza place...you probably know of where I speaketh...and just invited three friends and then family. This year I promised her (because I'm an idiot) that for her 5th birthday we'd do something at the park and invite her pre-school friends from daycare. I've been trying to keep the bday festivities as simple as possible and I feel that quickly slipping out of my hands!

But seriously? I recall having one "big" swimming party as a child and I turned out OK. Well that's what I think.