My kids don't get out of school until Friday, so, it's not really summer for us, yet.
Busy Dad finally arose yesterday, seems no worse for the wear.
The pool is finished, and, the Opening Day of Towel Consumption Season was a rousing, yet slightly chilly, success.
Hmm. Rooting around my archives, I noticed that my mother was in the hospital the past 2 Memorial Days, and, this year Busy Dad was ill.
So, in actuality, this weekend has sucked for several years.
Any, any, anyway...
As Busy Girl gets older, she's out, and, about a lot more.
I've realized that when she calls home to ask if she can do something, or, go somewhere, there's usually a friend hanging right on her, listening to every word we are saying on the phone call.
Sometimes, I can't tell if she really wants to do what she's asking for, or, if the friend has out her on the spot.
This weekend, she spent the night with a friend who has been begging her to come over for a while. She called the next day to say she'd been invited for a second night.
I said, OK, but, came to find out that she really wasn't wild about staying, but, the friend was right there when we were talking.
It's not always possible to make a call in private when you're 12, and, your friend is all fired up about something, so, we came up with a signal.
If she wants me to say "no" to what she's asking, she's going to address me as "Mother" (which she never does).
That way, she can sound like she's protesting my "refusal", but, I'll know she wasn't wild about doing whatever she's asking about, and, I can say "no".
It'll work for now.
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I am definitely filing that one way for future reference!!
Glad Busy Dad is on the mend.
You're a very cool mom!
On a slightly related note, RUABelle and my safety word is "Ouch. Get off me, you selfish bastard!"
We do the same thing with Sister. She has a friend who she can only take in small doses so she will call and say M wants me to sleep over and I will say no (I say no to everything and if she protests then I know she wants to and I will "give in") or sister will call (checking in - meaning she is ready to come home) and I will give her a time to be home like in the next fifteen minutes and she will say mom, and I will say, okay you tell me what time....Sunday, I said 6:00 and she said 6:30 :).
Today is our first day of summer break !
Handy - mother daughter code - I'll have to keep that one up my sleeve.
Cheers
Wow - summer break? Our kids are in school until the end of June. That's what you get for living near the permafrost line ;).
Very clever of you on the 'secret code' thing. I'll also file that away since oldest is 10 and starting to become more independent.
I so understand towel consumption season... same thing here but probably worse as we live on the beach, so in the summer all i ever seem to do is wash towels.
My mom and I used a code when I was younger...I would call home and say Mother as well if I wanted a negatory response. And, when I knew she meant business about something, she'd call me by my full given name.
Worked like a charm.
Awesome idea DD and I will have to use that one too
Am I the one that gave you that advice last year? LOL. We've been doing the "mother" thing for about 5 years now and it works really great - but don't let her tell her FRIENDS her secret. That can come back to bite ya in the butt. ;)
Oooh, I love codes! Seems like her friends might catch on to that one, though... maybe you need a different password every day...
"Mom, can I stay over? Oh, by the way, the dog sleeps at midnight..."
"Sure, sure, dear, because that was yesterday's. Don't you have something about a scarecrow to tell me?"
"Oh, darn! Um, the scarecrow... um... flies over the moon?"
"Nope, that's not it! Have fun on your sleepover!"
:), Dd.
awesome idea! I never can tell if my girl is wild about an idea, either, but I know she always tries to make everyone happy...
And that's what families are all about! Looking out for each other--I remember trying to decipher my oldest's true wants on phone calls like these. You're a tuned in mom!
My dad was the only one around when I was younger and I remember wishing that he'd just ONCE say "No" to me spending the night with someone. A code would have come in handy for a dad who was already clueless about raising a teenage daughter.
Are we to assume her friends are unaware of and/or do not read your blog?
Love the code word! At least till her friends point out that you always say "no" when she calls you "Mother," so maybe she should stick to "Mom."
Michael has never received an invitation he didn't like.
We skip the code. The rule is simple;if you ask anything(sleepovers, etc) in front of anyone, it will always be a no.
That is very fine! I'll be using it in the future.
Great idea! My 12 year old daugher and I will be working out something just like that.
Thanks!
Brilliant, I love that and will be using it for sure!!
Great idea, I'll pack that away in the memory vault for future use!
Definitely a good idea and one I'm also going to hang onto. I don't have that long until my oldest is out and about doing things too.
You mean your still allowed to say no? Cherish these moments!
I mean, I say "no" but then I am treated to the Look of Death.
I have seen the kids give me the 'please say no' look when relaying an inviation from someone on the phone... sometimes I say "it's fine by me if you want to" just to mess with them.
Let them say "I'm holding out for a better offer" -- which, of course, is why they want me to say no in the first place....
Your? Oh my! Sorry. I hate it when I make dumb mistakes like that....
That is a WONDERFUL idea!!! (Groovy makes a note for her tween/teen file.)
Yet another page out of the Book of Sista. I can't tell you how often Tara will answer the phone, come in where I am and sorta whistle and you say "What are you doing?" And she'll say So and So wants me to do this or that and I don't want to or she'll tell me to say no.
When I was a teenager I used to do something similar. I would call and ask if I could stay over, with my friend standing beside me, but not actually listening in I guess, and when my mother would say sure I would argue "why not??" and then she'd clue in and we'd figure out a time when I had to be home. I also used to randomly call to find out when I should be home when I wanted to go home, so they knew that's generally what was up. :)
I'm not sure I ever had that problem, but the code sounds like a very useful idea.
Very good idea!! I didn't need a hint phrase with my son, because he'd just tell his friends, "NO!"