Busy Dad has been out of town this week, and, my MIL has been here with me to take care of the kids while I'm at work.
Because, well, you know, we working parents are all about getting other people to raise our kids.
Anyway, I think this may be the first time we've spent any extended time together alone, since Busy Dad is usually around.
Confidential to stalkers, and, garden variety criminals: he's coming home today if he can get past the Bonaroo traffic.
She's a lovely lady, but, also a little "different".
She enjoys coming to our house when we need her, as she is really someone who who needs to "do for" people.
Despite my protests that she should just enjoy herself, and, the kids, and, not worry about the laundry and the cooking, she does them anyway, and, I've just learned to let her.
However, the dinner thing is getting odd.
She does all the tasks I just named, but, she has this weird stance that is sometimes invoked, sometimes not (you never know), that she doesn't have any "right" to be making any choices about meals since it's "my" kitchen.
She'll ask what I want for dinner, and, truly I don't care since any dinner cooked at all in "my" kitchen is more than we do most nights when she's not around.
I usually don't name anything specific because I can never tell if she's up for cooking a big meal, wants to go out, or, to just throw something together, so, I assure her that I'm fine with anything.
Heck, she's been with the kids all day, I don't mind cooking dinner, but, I'd just like to know.
Sometimes, I'll leave the house in the morning, and, she'll tell me they're going to the store to get something to make for dinner, and, I'll say, "Great, thanks!"
Then, I come home after work, and, she'll be standing there telling me that she "didn't fix anything" because she didn't know what I "wanted her to do."
Other times, like last night, I'll come home and she'll have been cooking all day, there's enough food for an army, and, she'll have invited my BIL and my dad for dinner.
Yes, it would stand to reason that I should just name something specific each morning, but, that doesn't always work out, it's rather odd.
It's actually become sort of a game to find out what's behind door number one when I get home lately, but, alas, tonight is the final round.
I wonder if I'll get some lovely parting gifts?
Recent Entries on Busymom.net:
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- Baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Renfest
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Parting Gifts:
A freezer full of meals already prepared and ready to go!
If its a waffle Iron...I'd take it :)
Does she at least cook well?
Funny. My MIL is visiting now. I'd LOVE for her to say "just take a load off -- I'll cook dinner tonight." I don't THINK I'm territorial about my kitchen, and yet everyone looks to me for "what's for dinner." Like I'm the grand poobah or something. What is with that?
Mothers-in-law are weird. It's just the law.
You must live somewhere near me! :) Bonnaroo affects us too!!! YEE HAW
Poor Busy Mom! I love my MIL, but don't so much like her, per se. And I cannot STAND her cooking, since she is from Ohio and I am from Louisiana, and the food in those places? Not so much the same.
The differences in visiting my Mom vs my MIL...
My Southern Mom will ask you what you want, go to the store for supplies, and fix it for you. On a good day she will fix her yummy, home-made banana pudding without being asked. With iced tea!
My Yankee MIL will disappear into the kitchen, reappear with food, and expect you to eat it. No matter what it is. Which made for good fun when I was pregnant and hardly anything was worth eating. "Oh me? Uh, no thanks. I'll just eat this piece of bread. And a grape." With ice water!
Gracious, it's my MIL who's the great one. My mother? Let's just say she's a bit difficult. What does that say about my chances of normalacy?
Oh, and I couldn't agree more with waiting for John's song to change. We adored him early on but it's all getting a bit grinding....
Maybe your parting gift will be a year's supply of Rice A Roni...the San Francisco Treat!!
I love my MIL, but she can be a bit odd too - good to know someone else is in the same boat!
My MIL is very much like yours, plus throw in some self-pity and a lot of passive-aggressive comments. After 15 years, I pretty much just smile and nod in response to her questions. Why answer if you can't actually affect the outcome? Thanks for letting me vent!
Sounds rather stressful.
My MIL can make a 3 course meal from crackers, pineapple and a square of cheese - and then have enough left over to make some sort of dessert. It's amazing!
Maybe she is funny that way about "her" kitchen. Like you I would be happy as a clam if she cooked in my kitchen. When you two are finished playing the game send her over here! :-)
My MIL is a lot like that too. Although she will make the main course and then expect me to make sides, serve and clean up. Plus play hostess to her. I would rather she went home when I get home and eat cereal with the kids.
oh that would get irritating. I hope your hubby can come home soon so you don't have to worry about the dinner challenge anymore.
You are lucky... my MIL wouldn't even dream of coming over and helping with my son, or cooking- she is too busy tanning and going on vacations. And probably drinking. All day. Don't get me wrong- we get along, but I would love some help every once in a while! The good news is that when she does come over- she totally takes it upon herself to discipline my son, and now I think he is kind of scared of her..... oh well, aren't MIL's great? hahahaha.
My MIL can do it all, even though she's getting on in years- I adore her. I also LOVE my mama, but she's not so home-handy. More like maintenance. High. With a side-order of shopaholic...
Which I really like, as she's of a generous nature. Just don't ask her to cook.
My parents are showing up on Tuesday from out of state and the dinner thing is always a sticky issue. Mom is a big hot meal, plan ahead time; I'm not.
My mother-in-law comes to visit when my husband is out of town sometimes, same kind of gig.
Last time she told me about four times that she was OK with "eating whatever leftovers we have" for dinner, even after I told her that I'd been way too busy to cook over the weekend like I usually tro to do.
The next day I would get home from work, wiped out, at 6:30 PM. No food in the fridge to fix, and nothing taken out of the freezer to thaw out, even after I'd specifically asked her to see to dinner. The same reasoning your MIL had--"I didn't know what you wanted". Frustrating and weird.
She also didn't want to go out to eat anywhere the kids would actually eat anything (pizza? too greasy. Chinese buffet? too much food.) So we had soup and sandwiches for dinner 2 or 3 times while she was here, before I got smart enough to pick something up for dinner on the way home.
I know she doesn't love to cook, but I didn't realize how much I depend on Hubby to handle dinner until she pretty much refused to do it while he was gone.
OMG!!! I think your MIL is my Mom!! No seriously, my mom will ask me what I want for dinner... (mine is helping as I have an 8 week old) but never make dinner. She will make a totally different dinner when she feels like it, invite my sister over, her friends and even maybe the whole neighbourhood. But she washes my dishes, she cleans my bathroom and she even mops my floor. So I think we have the same person in our homes.
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