Other parents?
Y'all are weird, sometimes.
I'm intimidated as hell by the parents of a friend of Busy Girl's.
They're very wealthy, and, nice enough on the surface, but, I feel like I'm being judged and am on the verge of doing something wrong all the time, I just have no idea what it is.
They're older and have several other kids and their attitude is a weird combination of simultaneously seeming like they were done with parenting years ago, and, giving you the vibe that they won't hesitate to call the police on you if their kid isn't home on time or something is not to their liking.
I feel sorry for this kid in a way, they don't really go out of their way to take her to things kids do, so, I have been trying to make sure that we offer her rides so she doesn't miss out.
The other night, this kid laid into Busy Girl about a situation that Busy Girl really had no control over, and, didn't do anything wrong.
Seriously, Busy Girl was clearly not at fault, but, this kid was launching stuff at her right and left.
Busy Girl handled it well, but, was sort of afraid to see her at basketball practice the next day.
When I got there to pick her up, she and this kid were talking, so, I made myself scarce, and, it looked like they had gotten things settled.
All the other kids had left practice, and, I went back in to make sure the kid had a ride, and, I heard her talking to one of her parents on the phone, and, it was obvious they hadn't made any plans to come get her.
The kid said they were coming, so, we waited a little longer.
Eventually, Busy Girl told me that we were going to take her with us to get a hamburger and the dad would meet us there.
Now, I'm fairly sure the parents knew about the previous night's argument between their kid and Busy Girl because it was a sizable hoopla, but, it didn't seem to bother them any that I was going to take their kid to lunch.
We ate lunch, and, the dad eventually showed up, nearly two hours after basketball practice ended, and, huffing and puffing and looking at his watch because we weren't outside in the parking lot waiting for him.
No, "Thank you", or, even a, "Sorry I'm late", or, anything.
So, by way of review boys and girls: if you need someone to take care of your kid for you, especially after your kid went batshit on their kid the night before, you might ought to ask that parent to do it, and, then actually show up to get said child.
Additionally, the parent doing the caring is the one that's supposed to sigh heavily and look at their watch when the parent of the kid receiving care doesn't show up in a timely manner, not the other way around.
Yet, somehow, I imagine this is being spun as my fault at their house.
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WOW...you and BG should get an award for that. Other kid has some obvious issues, the biggest of which seems to be a lack of parental attention...WTG on being an exccellent example to YOUR daughter.
I'd let them judge all they want, and despite my catholic guilt, judge their asses right back. I would also have a fantastic conversation with the mom in my head about not counting on others to take care of her child; but then I'd offer to help and say "anytime" in real life. I hate it when kids suffer because parents don't feel like doing their job.
The drama! The drama! Egads, I'm not looking forward to these days - please tell me it isn't this bad with boys since (hopefully) boys don't catfight on each other like girls do (making a big stereotype here, but being a girl with a brother - just my observation!)...
I gotta go with cursingmama here, Catholic guilt and all. It's kind of weird though, I think BG's friend and family are the clones of my SIL and her family. Props to you for dealing with the drama and extra props to BG for handling it so well. She probably is so incredibly capable of it due to your mad parenting skills! Big pats on the back all around ;-)
I am really not looking forward to the years when my kids have friends that I don't pick for them. I think that is going to come rather soon. Ugh.
The audacity of some people never ceases to amaze me. I have a hard time putting up with that sort of thing. It's too bad BG's friend is suffering; she's really the one losing in all of that. Kudos to you and Busy Girl for handling it all so well!
Hold on there - Give them their due.
Don't be intimidated - be annoyed - or angry.
And I feel sorry for their child too, but that would go away quickly if I saw her doing that stunt to my child a second time.
Wow, that sure was big of you. I mean you could've just left said child there and let the parents find out for themselves that not everyone will bow down to them. I do wish there were some type of advice but I've not yet been in that situation. The father sounds like a jerk though. UGh!
This happened to me recently. My daughter invited her friend to spend the night on a Saturday. She spent most of Saturday and Saturday night with us. All along I was assuming that we would make the exchange at church. Her mom was out of town and the dad had plans to go to a football game all Sunday. I was not aware of this until Sunday. He also had plans on Sunday night. She ended up staying with us on Sunday night as well. She had not finished her homework and she had no uniform for school. Her dad told her that we would get her books to her later that day. Oddly I never had a conversation with the dad about any of it.
I am glad we were able to accommodate but I would have been much happier if he had told me about all of his plans on the front end. It was very strange.
In my opinion it's always easier to not care what others think when I'm doing the right thing.
So keep supporting Busy Girl's friend and don't give a rat's behind what her parents think.
You'll be less stressed that way.
People, huh?!!
Scary.
Really.
Keep breathing.
Parallel lives, you and me. I have a "no child left behind" policy. I will always take kids home, because I don't want to wait for their parents, and I would NEVER leave a kid alone. I have shared this with my daughter, and I have probably been taken advantage of. And yes, I get mad sometimes, and I wonder what is up with other kids' parents, but it doesn't change the fact that sometimes I just have to be the one who does the right thing for someone else's child. I would want the same for my kids. My 15 year old daughter has one friend, in particular, whose mother NEVER seems to know or care where she is, or with whom. Luckily, its usually us, fairly safe and normal people, but still. Orphan friends sound great!!
And this is why I sometimes dislike other people. My sis is getting married, and needs her rsvp's. Since she's understandably busy, I made some calls for her. And would you believe some folk tried to make it sound like I was pushy? Oh, because the cards was due only 3 weeks ago, and I have the temerity to ask if they want to come to a wedding... I'm a pretty non-confrontational person (ok, timid) but these people take the cake!
I'm with cursing mama.
That poor child, I doubt she gets much attention at home. I never want to be that type of parent, I'd rather be much more like you and have a house full of other people's kids.
So different, yet so much the same. I'm dealing with a situation at church. Tony's Bible school teachers are all in huff because they say in private conversations they feel picked on, yet when addressed in youth meetings, they claim everything is just fine.
They've resigned, and then sent a letter resending the resignation.
We don't really know what is going on with them. It is very strange, and very disconcerting.
I'm always surprised at how many parents don't seem to want to care for their own kids. I feel like I'm always doing things for my kids friends. Just once would I like for them to offer something. Just realize you did the right thing :)
Other parents--don't get me started. I remember when my older daughter was invited over to a friend's, but they had little or no food in the house, didn't feed them anything for dinner, etc... I wasn't happy. This girl always bummed rides and wanted to take dance with my daughter, as long as I drove her all the time. I tactfully refused.
Sounds like the parents are insane in the membrane...you were clearly the only adult taking care of their child.
You are a saint.
I don't like (most) other parents, either.....I've been in similar but not-quite-like-that situations. Sounds like you both handled it very well.
Ugh!
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only mom who feels like I'm on the verge of doing something very wrong... yet don't know what it is ;)
I think you did a wonderful thing, one day hopefully that girl will thank you for treating her like a part fo your family because it doesn't sound like she has much of one at home.
I often wonder if I have an "exploit me" sign on my back too.
That said, I think you have to define some boundaries with these parents that have nothing to do with the kids. Not that I have the slightest idea how to do it.
Isn't there a coach or other professional who could do the waiting and supervising for rides home?