Busy D. went to a birthday party Friday.
It was a swim party, so, I knew that I would be staying for it, and, was prepared.
(Note: unless the host specifically says you don't need to stay, you really ought NOT leave your kindergartener at a party, especially a swim party with sixteen 5 and 6 year olds.
Your kid was crying the whole time. Yes, yours. And? The host was pretty annoyed with the lot of you.)
Anyway, once we got the kids settled into the pool, I was standing around with the other parents, and, I realized I really didn't know anyone.
When Busy Girl and Busy Boy started school, all the "other parents" were our friends already, since we all had kids about the same time.
But, (with a few exceptions) with Busy D., we really don't know his friends' parents.
OK, maybe, just maybe, some of it's because we're about 100 years older than they are, and, they are still excited about everything instead of jaded and bitter like the junior high parents, but, still...
At first, I thought to myself, "Oh, well, it's just an hour, I'll find something to do since they obviously already know each other."
Then, it occurred to me that since I'm going to be with these people for oh, the next 8 years, I'd better see what I could do to chat with them, or, at least learn some names.
I got over myself, and, struck up a conversation with a lady who looked sort of familiar.
I was proud of myself for fitting in and all, until right off the bat, she said, "Hello. Oh, you must have older kids."
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What a b***h! I swear, some people just do not think before engaging their (big) mouths! GRR!
Well, you BLOG, so that automatically takes 10 years off your age, simply by being up to date with technology...right?
I appreciate the birthday party advice. Since my eldest is a kindergartener, I still feel unsure navigating new things like class birthday parties.
It's almost as bad when you're the youngest mommy. I was a young mom when mine was in kindergarten and everybody thought I was the babysitter.
Ugh... I hate that. I never fit in with the other moms... which might explain why I blog
I'm with Maman...When I married HD I was an insta-mom and tried to fit in with the parents that had known each other for years. Awkward. Now with the boys I'm the mom that also has a High Schooler. Also awkward. Ya just can't win!
Thankfully I'm not there, yet.... But I would NEVER say that!
OUCH!
You should have told her you had to go because YOU'RE f%^%^%king Matt Damon.
This is the exact reason why I will not have children at this stage, even though it's still possible for me to give birth. Oh yeah, that and the fact that I like my house the way it is, peaceful and still standing ;->
Good luck with the youngers... you know they think they're all that, right?
I was the young mom with my now 11 yo DD, since I was only 21 when she was born and she goes to a Catholic school where the average age for a first born was 29, and most of the people know each other from high school. Awkward! Now I'm the OLD mom with my son who is 1. When he goes to kinder, it should be interesting and at least a little awkward!
"Old mommy" here, too - I even work at our preschool and STILL feel totally out of it with the
young moms!
I'm only 37 and get asked if my kids are my grandkids all the time. My response is always the same, "No, I just chose to wait until I was socially mature to have children."
Yeeeesh. Remind me that if I ever become a parent not to say stupid stuff like that!
That sucks, BusyMom...perhaps you looked familiar to her (like she did to you) because she too has older kids? No? (Look at me trying to find a bright side for ya!) Oh, and Ebony (above) that's just wrong and you should start clocking people!
O My Gawd - I would have been completely beside myself. Reminds me of the Fried Green Tomatoes... "I'm older and have more insurance."
Don't you want to just put on nice bright BITE ME shirt and go out in public sometimes?
you know, busymom, you could just move to nyc where you would again be a young mom. We're ALL old here.
Oh No She Diin't!
Ouch. That's a bit of an insult. Hope the party went okay and nobody got seriously injured.
What is wrong with people? This woman would have found herself in the pool with the kids if that one was run past me.
Don't worry, I'm one of THOSE mom's too, having seven years between my two kids. So I have a 3rd grader and a toddler. Makes for a lot of fun trying to get know both kinds of parents; the young ones with toddlers and the older parents with school aged children.
Perhaps this woman saw the spark of wisdom in your eyes that she didn't see in the other parents and just knew that you are a wise one to seek out.
Don't you love that?! It won't be until she gains your years of wisdom that she will realize the lack of tact that a comment like that has. Good for you for rising above.
Regards,
Joe
Ack. I can only imagine what she would have said to me. I'm so looking forward to that insensitivity as my daughter grows older.
you should have pushed her into the pool-made it look like an accident of course...
She didn't really?!
I am 46 with a 6 and a 10 yr old tell me about it. I was asked if I was her grandma! (they are internationally adopted)
How funny - I observed the same thing during last year's baseball season. You'd think they'd want to hang out just to pick your brain about raising older children! Turns out the "baby parents" only wanted to be with us for our team pool parties. Gotta admit - pool envy is nice revenge!
Oops!
That's when you take your walker and whack her in the shins, then trundle away.
"Oh, you must have older kids"...oh, to respond, "Which one of the kiddos in the pool is your brother or sister?"
OMG Paul what a perfect come back!!!!!!!!!!! Perfect strangers find it no problem to say the most outlandish rude things to you!!!!!
Rude little snot, wasn't she.
I'm 56 and because of being married twice have 4 kids ages 36, 19, 14 and 11. No ones ever said something like that to me.
At least it wasn't, "When is your baby due?"