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Wednesday, March 12
Things "They" should invent

OK, don't tell anyone, but, I'm going to apply for a few patents:

- A car with a trash chute

- A laptop that doesn't need a battery and remains powered on and connected to the Internet at all time.

- A dog that can serve up his own food, and, write on the grocery list when the food is gone.

- Parking space "spreader" attachment for the front of the car. Move those pesky already parked cars to the side, and, slide right in between them.

- Ritalin aerosol

- A washer and dryer for the back of the car (actually, I think someone may have beat me to that), so you can get a few chores done at the soccer field.

- Spray on coating to prevent dead trees from falling and crushing the fence that keeps the dogs in the back yard. (OK, maybe that's a niche item).

- Convenient, single serving six packs of STFU

- Kids with a working "Go upstairs, put on your pajamas, brush your teeth, and, go to bed" setting

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.


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Comments

I really need the car with the trash chute. . .and maybe some car seats with their own mini-chutes too?

I was all excited about my "answering machine for your car phone" invention until someone unceremoniously burst my bubble with "it's called voice mail."

Dang.

Not sure why it was lined out, but I love the single serving six packs of STFU. I think it needs to be offered in bulk for those dinners with the out-laws, um, I totally meant in-laws, really. I swear.

Posted by: Angela from west side cleveland | March 12, 2008 11:02 AM

i am loving the single serving packets of STFU!!!!

At the risk of sounding stupid...what's STFU? (You may laugh at me, I'm ok with it.)

When you get these items in production, I will be the first in line to buy several of them. Get to work!

OK-would those single-serve packs be like the packs of stuff that you put in bottled water? I would totally fake out my kids and maybe get a moment of quiet!?

OK I can relate to 1, 2, and 6. I have swimmers/soccer players and have just about as many dirty clothes in my car as I have in the laundry room. And they wonder why they can't find clean socks!!

Oh, can you also work on getting dogs to be able to let themselves outside when they feel the urge to pee and stop whining at the door?

Kthxbi!

What about a car can clean itself?

I will purchase your first car trash shute. Let me know when it will be ready.

I will purchase your first car trash shute. Let me know when it will be ready.

Can you also work on a "wearable" coffee mug? I am constantly leaving my "someplace" in my classroom, and I can never find it when I can finally have a sip. Then I spend the 30 seconds I had to sip looking for the darn thing. When I do find it, I no longer have time to drink from it.

Maybe it's another niche item?

In the meantime, I'll take one "parking spreader", please.

Posted by: Candace | March 12, 2008 2:40 PM

I'll take one case of STFU and the washer/dryer combo, but can you make mine completely portable so I can wheel it around to other places like the car line?

Posted by: Larisa Arthur | March 12, 2008 2:55 PM

I would also like an automatic napkin dispenser that refills itself! That will go hand in hand with your trash chute.

Posted by: Artist Unplugged | March 13, 2008 10:10 AM

I'm with headless mom. What's STFU?

Posted by: Bug | March 13, 2008 12:47 PM

You crossed out the best one.

STFU is shut the "you know what begins with the letter F" up.

Posted by: Angela from west side cleveland | March 14, 2008 1:50 PM

Ritilan in a can...ultra fast acting...I would never leave home without it. As a matter of fact I would have maced the FlyingMonkeys with it last night at the ball park...

But if you bring all those into being, you will have lots less work to do. Good luck, Mom.

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