I was helping coach Busy D.'s soccer game on Saturday, it's a multi-person affair, (don't start me on the reasons why) and I was manning the bench.
I don't put up with a lot of crap on the bench and I watch them pretty tightly, likely to the chagrin of a couple of parents (the same parents whose kids are the reason it takes an army to get the kids through a game).
During the game, a lady came rushing up to me and exclaimed, "What have you done with my son? Where is Clive (not his real name)?"
Me: "Huh?"
Lady: "He's not here, weren't you watching?!"
Now, I was pretty sure I hadn't lost anyone, especially in the middle of a large field, but I had a little problem.
I had no idea which kids was Clive.
Since they moved up a division, we've added 4 kids to the team and I'm not around a lot since Busy Dad is the assistant coach, he wasn't there and I have no idea who some of these kids are.
However, it didn't really seem like the time to tell her I didn't know who her kid was since she thought him to be, you know, missing.
Hoping the kids on the bench would bail me out, I said rather loudly, "Where is Clive? Let me see..."
But, nothing.
Not a bite from the little turds (including my own kid) dears who just moments before couldn't shut up to save their lives were chatting enthusiastically.
Perhaps they didn't bail me out because I had just had to remove all their drinks from their possession, we may never know.
She's getting more agitated, I still don't know which one's hers, much less where he went.
I put my hand to my forehead as if to shield my eyes from the glare while I looked for Clive.
She continued to huff and puff and I try again to enlist the kids help.
One kid abruptly stops goofing off, turns around and looks at me and says rather emphatically and most adult-like, "He's. In. The. Goal."
Mother: "Well, OK. I thought you let him run off. He could have been kidnapped or something, you know."
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I would have so popped her son in the head just for his moms mouth! LOL What a hoor! LOL
I think right then would have been a good time to substitute the kid who told you where Clive was with Clive in goal.
Isn't it like, HER JOB, to keep an eye on her kid! Geez!
why wasn't she watching where her child was? too busy on the cell phone maybe?
That's too funny, one would think that "in" the game would be the most normal place to find your child, right?
You are a saint. I would have said something snarky.
Let me guess, this chick was the mom who would pick up her kid from a Chuck-E-Cheese birthday party without checking in with the Hostess Mom too. I have enjoyed the stress of searching high and low for a missing child in that hell hole only to find that the kiddie was safely in the bosom of his parents. sigh. No wonder I drink.
I've been looking for the statistics for the giant number of Kids Kidnapped during Soccer Games, and so far?
Not much can I find.
Not a single incident.
Um, what the hell was SHE doing? Isn't watching her kid HER Job? I swear people have a total blame syndrome. It makes me insane.
So that's when you hand HER the whistle and let her man the bench.
In soccer, you're either IN or OUT.
Auf Wiedersehen.
That's when you pull one of those "Riiiggghttts" from Wildcats, shake your head a little, and walk away.
So did you trip her?
That's exactly why I think teachers, coaches, and Sunday school teachers, etc. are saints. I couldn't deal with those parents for a 1/2 sec.
Totally apparent she was NOT paying attention to the game or else she would have known that Little Clive was PLAYING! She'd have gotten the eye-roll from me (after she turned her back - I'm passive-not-so-agressive like that).
SMUG MOMS!
http://reportell.com/index.php?option=com_myblog&show=Smugs-Moms..html&Itemid=59
Clearly she wasn't watching her kid's game then! Geez! Shouldn't you KNOW if your kid is in or out before freaking?
it's ok that SHE didn't know where little Clive was or anything...!
Darlin, unless she signed over guardianship papers to you, you are not responsible for Clive Mc Fuckwhit's whereabouts.
I suggest that she volunteer to be nest season's Soccer Mom.
Why wasnt she watching her own kid instead of leaving it up to you?
Some people... geez.
way to play it off!
Hyper moms with hernias!
Actually, I feel bad for anyone who is so uptight.
Katrin
co-author, Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too
www.momstimeouts.com
People in the Witness Protection program tend to be overly paranoid. And call their children Clive (not his real name).
Right...it's your responsibility to watch all 20 kids and there exact whereabouts, whether on the field or off the entire freaking game. That Muffy needs to take a Chill Pill! Kidnapped, Scmidnapped! Whatever...
you think the mom would have noticed that one, haha. wow.
You showed enormous restraint. I would have been so tempted to tell her, "Clive is gone, and he told me not to tell you where he went."
I am a firm believer that some parents shouldn't be allowed to go to their children's sporting events. Sounds like a helicopter parent in the making. In 10 years, Clive's mother will be calling my office asking me to find Clive a job because he is still living in her basement with a degree in engineering.
I'm with you Barb - so not your problem! Undercover princess - priceless! lol.