(Note: This has been in my head for a while, and is coincidental to other fabulous posts of its kind at other sites. Must be something in the air)
Long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Internet in 2003, I started one of these here "blog" thingies.
I quickly met other people doing the same thing and we traded animal pelts.
Some of my new friends were parents, some not but any way you sliced it, there was fun.
The concept of a feed reader would have been crazy talk, you had to go to someone's site to find out what was up with them.
You admired their new layout, left a comment and hoped to be included on their "blogroll".
That was really all there was to it.
The landscape has changed, technology has changed and that's good.
There's so many wonderful things that we didn't have when we dragged our clubs and our women around by the hair.
OK,you're right. That last line would have been way more effective if I were a boy. (/Beyonce)
Anyway...
But, apart from these nifty new tools and ideas, things took an odd turn socially.
I don't need to go into it, you can find an account anywhere you look, especially lately, but it's probably no different than the dynamics of any large group.
I actually used to know group dynamics stuff for real because I worked at a psychiatric hospital, but that knowledge probably got crowded out by the song lyrics and Abe Vigoda trivia in my head.
No, really. I did work there, they weren't just telling me that as part of my therapy.
Bloggers are a group, and in most groups, people are always going to vie to be seen as the head of the group or position themselves as an expert, someone is always going to go outside (and suffer the consequences of) the established "norm", while others are going to carefully go along with the majority.
Mommybloggers don't have a monopoly on group dynamics.
In fact, if had I had to guess, most blogging communities probably don't understand "all the new people", russet potato bloggers wonder if the red potato bloggers are half baked, and the tin foil bloggers question if the Saran Wrap bloggers are transparent enough.
I'm sitting in the kitchen, can you tell?
I'm not making fun of the state o' the day of mommyblogging, I get caught up in some if it myself, and I find myself rather pissy about some things.
In fact, it's sometimes kind of kept me from writing more than I do, and I'm working on taking my own advice.
My point is (yup, if you have to tell what your point is, then you haven't made it very well. I know.) that people will always do it differently than you do.
People may begin blogging one way and then grow (or devolve) into another way.
People may be fake or dishonest, but really? It can be that way with the people you can see, too, not just other bloggers.
People will criticize other people's decisions in order to justify their own. It happens.
These debates aren't going away, the whole mommybloggers and marketing or "aggressive mommyblogging" (I prefer "performance blogging") topics will be replaced with something else.
It's just the way large groups work.
Having goals (even goals that involve an income) for your blog isn't inherently evil.
Not having goals doesn't make your blog lesser somehow.
Whatever your purpose and whatever the other guy's purpose is, I propose we stop analyzing it all the time and just write and interact, already.
However, if your blog is about meta-blogging, then as you were, I suppose.
I read lots of different types of blogs, it's OK to write about what you've been up to (so old-skool, I know!), teach me something about marketing and SEO (with the right author, I think it's interesting), enlighten me about raising a teen, use really small words, don't be a douche and I might even read about politics.
I will probably continue to roll my eyes at some specific antics, that's what makes the Internet interesting sometimes.
I admit to having a low tolerance for overly earnest angst-a-thons (heh, wrote "thong"), but if that's your thing have at it, I'll visit when you throw in a fart joke or something.
Write something and enjoy doing it.
Visit someone else's blog, have fun or learn from it, or something.
Whatever you do, just do it already and stop worrying about how others are doing it.
Internalizing my own message in 3...2...1...
Recent Entries on Busymom.net:
- Where can I find Chuck Norris? In Bob Costas' hair, apparently
- Car insurance for teenagers should come with health insurance for parents
- On conference content
- What the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Google Buzz Can Teach Us About Social Media
- Blissdom 2010 and some introspection
How refreshing and fabulous. :)
I'm always the last to realize something has gone beyond a curiosity and into a full blown brau-haha. But I have a little inkling about some of this swirling around blogworld. (I happily live in a little internet pond and only venture out on rare occasions.)
My thought? To each her own. I'm happy with my little non-goal oriented because it is way cheaper than therapy and easier than actually getting dressed to make friends. Those who do blogging in a bigger way? More power to them! Happy for their success! I am fascinated to hear about it at conferences but that reminds me how much work they do and how lazy I am.
Thanks for this! I sometimes let the few commenters on my blog that pick at every word (give me some creative license people!) get me down. A nice reminder like this is helpful.
I guess I didn't realize there were rules for blogging or any of this going on with mommy blogs. I just write what I like.
My only "rule" is to have at least one picture per post, which you didn't. But you were interesting enough to keep my attention to the very end. :) That's impressive because generally I glaze over with lots of words. I'm simple like that.
Oh, and I did throw in a burp joke a few days ago. Not a fart, but still good enough to make people giggle, I hope.
FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.
Does this mean I no longer have to classify myself all over the place? Because I'm a mommy, but not really a mommyblogger, and I'm a knitter, but not really a knitblogger - and I work but i don't really blog about that...
mostly I just talk about nothingness
Amen, Hallelujah and please pass the peas! In other words, I concur.
Amen!
I remember back in the day (and you've been blogging longer than me) when ad networks were kind of oohed and aaahed upon and it seems like every other blogger has signed up for one now.
To each his own. There are meeelions of blogs out there and they don't all have the same audience or scope or focus or fart jokes.
And save the good fart jokes for us, OK?
Bravo!
Amen sista! I just happened upon a new blog yesterday that was so un-filtered, so, well, "matter of fact" that it inspired me to really take the gloves off. People certainly would never consider me "appropriate" or "filtered" but when I realized that I could just spill my stream of consciousness instead of worrying that what I was writing might not be funny or witty enough, that's when what I wrote (in my opinion) was the funniest!
To each their own! But I do agree with the above commenter: pictures are purdy.
I had to stop writing and reading blogs for a while. My real life started to get in the way of my being able to spend hours online (pesky child-rearing, earning a living, making meatloaf and such). I had to take a step back and evaluate what I was in it for (outlet for writing? check. community? check. activism? check. making money and getting more famous than Octomom? not so much).
All I can say is that people like you make it all worthwhile. If you ever closed up shop, I'd cry real, salty tears in my supersize margarita.
Fantastic post.
I agree with all your points about just blogging to blog. I've also stopped reading certain blogs of late which seem to be doing exactly what you write here that they shouldn't try to do. And I'm already so much happier for it.
Yep, it's in the air -- got my, "Shut up and Write" post up and running -- word!
I read Jenn's post before I came here.
Great advice, there. "Whatever you do, just do it already and stop worrying about how others are doing it."
Thanks for the kick in the pants.
Off to Liz's now!
Wow- I had no idea that this was happening in the world of blogging. Maybe that's a good thing because I haven't been worrying about the proper way to blog. I just want to be entertained, is that too much to ask?
Amen! I run into this not just with blogs, but Flickr, Twitter, Facebook, etc. People get so bent out of shape if you don't use or do things they way THEY do or the way they think you should. I have to keep reminding myself that those are MY spaces and I can use them however I want. Some days it is harder than others to stand up for yourself. Today it is easier knowing that I'm not alone.
Wow. This post makes me glad that a few years ago (I, too, started blogging in 2003), I decided NOT to do all the necessary things to get my page count up, etc. I write when I feel like it and I write what I feel like (my primary filter being my 14 YO daughter who never reads it anyway). I sit here with a few dozen hits a day, with nobody really analyzing what I do besides myself. It's starting to feel like a pretty good choice!
Word. Just that. Word.
Roll call on this irony:
Liz: check
Busy Mom: check
Jenn: check
Petroville: still waiting ;-)
Great (old skoolers) think alike. It is in the air. Kind of like flowers but more like farts. HA!
I'm still laughing at the potato jokes.
Amen, sister. While I agree with 99 percent of this - the whole fakeness thing gets to me but in my particular instance (and I find this on Facebook as well) is people I am familiar with - just not saying it like it is and glazing everything over with a coat (thick coat) of honey. I blog for myself and myself alone, but enjoying reading blogs that I can relate to. Free therapy, someone said. I like the truth from people I know - plain and simple. I feel good knowing that life is truely not all candy and roses....
I feel this way about twitter. It was so much more fun when I was reading tweets about people's dull lives than having to deal with all the ads and promo's and crap...and to think, I just let one slip through into my own feed, argh.
somebody must have had a diet coke kind of late!
I don't even know what "meta-blogging" is! Ha! See how much I care about what people think? And I mean that in a good way.
I love this post, by the way. Glad I found it. :)
Thank you, thank you for communicating those thoughts so well! It must be human nature that, if you think you do something the "right" way, you're only validated in that opinion if you can convince others to do it "your" way, too! Silly, silly. This is an excellent post!
I'm so out of the loop I don't even know what the brouhaha was about. I haven't been around quite as long as you, but the evolution during my time has been interesting.
The bottom line when these tiffs come up has always been the same. Shut up and blog. Yeah. (Or in my case, be oblivious and don't blog... ;) )
I'm late (as usual) for roll call but I'm here. I 27th the notion : I love this post.
I miss the old days though *sigh*. I got it then...
You mean not everyone tells fart jokes on a regular basis? WTH?
Thank you for so perfectly expressing something I've been feeling for a while, too.
Thank you for this. That is all. :)
Amen, Busy Mom! Amen!
I just do my thing and try to remain oblivious to the drama. I write when I can, but that is all I can do :)
I'm not an old skool blogger, I'm not totally new, I'm just me. I have my annual "angst a thon" in my head about my blog, but this post makes me feel so much better. I can just blog because I like it and not worry about anything else. Great post.
great post!!! thanks for sharing!
What a fantastic post!
I'm not really sure what category I fall into.. if I even fall into one. I write whatever is on my mind or comes to my fingers when I log in -- although, the last 2 weeks have been, admittedly, angst filled. But I write about life and I suppose that's just how it goes. :)
I try to write from somewhere real, because even if nobody reads it, it's still an outlet for me and I don't think I could have kept up any kind of farce for this long -- I've been blogging since I discovered livejournal in the 9th grade!
I suppose that on some level I try to make my blog "something". If I had to define it, I would probably just call it something you can relate to, in a mother/daughter/woman way. Not any one imparticular, just bits and pieces of each.
I love finding that in other blogs and I suppose it's something I "try" to have.
Once again, fantastic post! I'm glad I came across your blog!
Amen. And that is all.
As a "newer" blogger there is much of this stuff I don't get. Some of it I want to understand. Other stuff...meh.
I love what you've said here. Of course we will disagree.
Bottom line : shut up and write.
uh yeah, didn't mean to come off all "bitchy" like with the whole "shut up and write". Just agreeing with your point.
I really should refrain from commenting when I'm nearing the end of my work day on a Friday and just over everything
I started off just writing to get comfortable with being read... then these giveaways started happening, and I was like, "am I a giveaway mom now?" And then I talked about the babies... so was I a baby mommy? And then this and that and then
aaarrrgghhh!
One day, a kind person told me, "there are no rules. Just write."
I thought, "Whew!" I know there will still be those questions in my head, but I have to believe that I know what I want for myself and my blog. I'm tired of trying to please anyone. Enough already, right?
Love this. I'm a newbie to blogging and was surfing for JUST this sort of post. I'm still in the "Will people really care what I have to say" phase of blogging but I'm having a damn fine time doing it, so I'll keep bloggin' along. Thanks for the words of wisdom. I'll be a regular reader of yours now.
Oh my - this is my first time here and I'm loving these words. I jumped into this wacky scene about 5 months ago and wow - I had no idea. But yeah, I love what you say about the group thing like bloggers would somehow defy any typical group. There are ALLLL kinds of course and for some reason, that freaks some people out. Whateves.
Right on for writing your mind...I'll be back...