I have teenagers now, and many of you don't, so my foray into the world of teen drivers is likely a major snoozefest for some.
I get that, but driving: it's what for dinner around here.
As absurd as it may seem now, this will be you someday.
Hopefully, you'll be smarter than I, and do it with medication, or something.
Kidding.
Sorta.
Ask me again in a few months when I get to start the process ALL OVER with Busy Boy.
At any rate, one of my greatest fear is raising a helpless female driver..
I only have one girl, so I want to get this right.
Here comes another installment of, "She's Really Strange, Sometimes"
One of my biggest peeves is when women can't won't learn their way around town.
Driving Barbie: "Directions are hard!"
Busy Girl is beginning to go places with friends, and I attempt to arm her with directions, as they have to go to various schools and other places for volleyball and such.
But, she inevitably refuses them because the driver "has a GPS".
Before I continue, please note:
1. There's nothing wrong with having a GPS, I LOVE my GPS. GPS=Good
2. If she's recently ridden with your kid and a GPS, I know they knew where they were going the other night, it's fine ;)
But, I believe a GPS does not replace the need to know where you are going and a general idea of how to get there, particularly in your own town.
When my kids were young, I started drilling them not only on their own address, but on the names of the streets they typically encountered in their daily lives.
I would do stuff like pretend I forgot how to get to school, and they'd have to tell me how to get there, and what roads to take.
When Busy Girl drives (she has a learner's permit), I make her tell me how to get to where we are going before we leave, and sometimes an alternate route since it's Construction Season.
Before she gets her actual license, I expect her to know the parts of town and how they relate to each other, the Interstates (we have four, five if you include 840, which did present a problem one time when she was with a friend on the way to a volleyball game. I ended up just screaming, "See the sun? Drive toward it!" when they got lost right before a game and called me and didn't understand what I was telling them), (That was way too much info for parentheses) and the main roads she will typically encounter.
All without a GPS.
A GPS is great for that trip to an oddball part of town, looking for a shortcut somewhere, or for going out of town.
I just strongly believe you should be able to get around where you live by knowing how roads and parts of town relate to each other, and dependence on a GPS doesn't allow you to develop that knowledge.
Will she get a GPS when she starts driving? Sure, eventually, or she will use mine when it's necessary.
OK, I'll give her mine so I can get a shiny new one, but shhh...
I also think a GPS can be a distraction for a new driver. I'd rather wait until she's a more experienced driver before we add optional bells and whistles.
Part of earning our trust when she drives depends on her ability to demonstrate a working knowledge of the city as it relates to her every day life.
I want her to learn about her surroundings confidently, and depend on herself to get to where she's going.
If she gets lost, I want her to learn what to do about it, figure out how she got there, and learn where she went wrong.
(Disclaimer: As a new driver, she won't be out late at night and I will continue to make her tell me "how to get there" before I let her drive anywhere. Settle down, now.)
I just don't want her to be the girl or woman who wears a "poor sense of direction" like a badge of honor, always begging people to wait so she can "follow them".
Driving takes confidence, and part of that confidence is knowing where you're going, or how to find out.
Your mileage with a teen driver may vary.
Your opinion of my sanity may be yet more variable.
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I only use permanent installations for GPS (unless I have a navigator to handle it). Anything less is a new way to run off the road.
I think you have the right idea. Our family doesn't use GPSes so our kids will have to learn.
I think there are two things at work here: 1) that they have virtually been driven everywhere, not usually having to take a city bus or ride their bikes to get to point A or B, and 2) as car passengers they've had a dozen things to keep them from looking out the window and becoming acquainted with the surrounding area. DVD players, handheld video games, cell phones, etc. I think that's how we learned - we just took it all in, day after day, year after year, and by the time we were driving, we knew.
I like how you're handling it, and how you've been doing it since they were little. Props to you!
I'm always just months ahead of you! My 17 year old started driving at Christmas. Mostly, she goes to and from school and soccer practice. Friends' houses, too - all places she has been a million times. The ONE time I send her to get her brother from golf practice (on the local military base) she gets lost. She called me and I was able to talk her back to the golf course, but it was a scary feeling for a little bit when I realized she was totally lost and I could not get to her. This parenting thing is just one big laugh after another. And, we are looking at colleges - it never ends!!
One tip I would like to add as a geographically challenged female; know directions early. For instance, I lived near the beach, so in my part of Florida the sun sets in the West behind my house. My Mom gave me landmarks; St. Pete is South, Palm Harbor is North, East is Tampa. The other tip is not just secondary routes to the familiar place, but where to AVOID. And finally, as I assit my very young niece on this same topic; know the vehicle you are driving. My love of flying helped me when I was just starting out, my Mom made both my sister and I do "preflight inspections".. It is a habit I still do today at 45 years old. I walk around the car before getting in, make sure no idiot lights (other than the ones in my head) are on, and foremost, we had to learn how to change a tire, and where our dip sticks were (insert not husbands)...
I have a 16 year old boy that's only had his license a few months. I realized when I started teaching him to drive that he had NO idea how to get anywhere, even places we went every day - like his school! I did the same thing you do - made him tell me how to go. He got a GPS for his 16th birthday present, but I was surprised how quickly he learned his way around once he started driving by himself. He only uses the GPS when he goes someplace far away or new. The streets in our town are very confusing and run at weird angles, so even after 12 years I sometimes get confused.
My son is 5, I just stumbled upon this and I'm confused. Are you new to town? I've just always, like you said, relationally known where I was going. You know though, we are all built different and spatial relationship I think is something you've either got or don't. Not that either case is good or bad, it just is what it is and you discover a way to get around that suits you and how you were built. Your daughters kids will probably talk into the dashboard and be flown to where they are going. In the end, they will ALL be okay and you (said with a smile now) will have known exactly where you just were in relation to your house.
My son is 5, so I'm sorta confused. He demonstrates now a pretty good sense of direction. Are you in a new area from where she was raised? I think you are either born with that spatial relationship thing or not. Not that one way is better than the other, it just is what it is. She will always find her way and you will always know your way. Her daughter will more than likely talk into the dashboard and be flown to where she is going. But if you really want to drill it, my sister (a directions guru) loves maps, she refers to them to show people where we are going and before she leaves on any big trips. Start there and see if your daughter can find herself on a map and then make her fold when she can't : )
I'm like Alma's sister - I LOVE maps and sometimes don't do well a GPS. I tend to overthink what my GPS is trying to tell me and turn too quickly or think I know the way better, and sometimes end up lost using one. However, my 18 year follows a GPS flawlessly, turning right on time, never doubting what it says and arrives at her destination without a bauble.
we have too much freaking technology today. we all did fine w/o any of it, right?
shortly after i learned to drive and got a beater car; i would frequently come out and find one of the tires flat. my mother would always make me change the tire and go fill it up with air, bring it back and put it back on. took me awhile to figure out that her and my brother would let the air out of the tires just so i would have to learn how to change a flat tire!
Oh, I am SO GLAD you said it. PSA: GPS can be wrong, too. There is no shame in asking for directions, either. Especially, when one is SO LOW on gas, right?
We didn't get GPS for girls until they were in college, my oldest has no sense of directions and gets lost easily, it was a nice comfort zone for all of us. Have you considered a GPS locator for the car? We put one on our youngest daughter's car, she was our hand full, can keep track of them on line.