There's quite a buzz going on these days about blogger and brand relationships.

I realize it's been done to death, and the topic is a big snooze fest for many of you, but opinions are like noses, and I have one.

Huh? That's not how it goes? Really?

Anyway...

Bloggers?

1. It's a professional relationship with real people, please act accordingly.

Even if your mantra is "But, I blog for meeeeeee!", you blog in a public forum (the Internet), and there is reasonable expectation that people will interact with you as a result of what you publish.

It matters not if you've ever held a job, receive or intend to receive any form of compensation, you have presented yourself through your writing and people should be able to expect acceptable (i.e. professional) public behavior, no matter if your response is yes or no.

If you aren't treated the same way in return, take the higher road, I don't think it could be a disadvantage.

2. You aren't going to get stuff for free simply by virtue of having a blog.

Stop begging. I am embarrassed for some of you.

If you are unclear how to go about professionally promoting yourself, please seek assistance.

3. It's not always possible (though it is highly preferable) for a brand to get to know you to tailor a pitch just right.

You may get a pitch that's not relevant, it's OK. I've gotten 13 of them during this writing.

It is not an affront to your hard work and you superstar status on the Internet, it's just a fact.

If a pitch or it's method annoys or offends you, step away from the caffeine, use an e-mail filter, ask to be removed from the list or delete it.

Better yet, if the topic is interesting to you, make the move to try to get to know them.

Sure, there are some pitches that are especially absurd, those are different ;)

4. Bloggers have a right to be compensated fairly for advertising or content created for brands, but not everything you do should be compensated.

Though this isn't news, your blog may be wonderful, but the truth is you're not going to be compensated for everything you do because you think it should be so.

Seek assistance from a trusted source if you are unclear about what requires compensation and don't enter into an agreement unless the situation has mutual value to you and the company.

If you have a personal blog, just write what you love to write, and if an opportunity comes to you as a result of it, all the better.

*****

Brands?

1. It's a professional relationship with real people, please act accordingly.

Even if your mantra is "These are just mommy bloggers", you have contacted them in the name of your company, and you are the paid professional.

Understand that the people you are pitching are not the "composite mom" (note: please refrain from talking about "mom" in the 3rd person in your pitches, it's dumb.) you talked about in school or that creative meeting.

They are adults from all backgrounds (even PR) with stuff to do and are not just at home worrying about how to get their whites whiter, or on the fainting couch over their kids using a regular web browser.

Just speak normally.

If you aren't treated the same way in return, take the higher road, I don't think it could be a disadvantage.

2. You are not going to get stuff for free simply by virtue of having a pitch or a being a big company.

Stop asking for absurd things because you think mommy bloggers don't know any better, or that blogs are free advertising.

I am embarrassed for some of you.

If you are unclear why some bloggers don't just "share it with their readers", already, please seek assistance.

3. It's highly preferable (and you will have more success) to get to know a blogger before pitching them, but I suppose that's not always possible.

A big cause of the current confusion with bloggers is that most personal blogs aren't magazine-style publications looking for "content".

Most bloggers aren't drawing a salary from an entity to produce content. They ARE the entity.

Proceed with a lot of caution when touting "free content", "hi-res images", "access to interviews" and a "link from a super important site", because those things may not hold the same value to a blogger as it does to you or to a traditional media site.

Do what you can to know who you're pitching, but avoid sweeping generalizations about the content of a blog based on the title, you'll probably get it wrong.

Example: I don't give "useful tips to busy moms from all over", I think I am more of a cautionary tale, but you get my drift.

Misc. notes: repeated use of the word "mom" does not increase the relevancy of your pitch, and referencing the second most recent post does not make me believe you are a "fan" of my site.

4. "Social media" does not inherently equal "free", it is not limited to earned mentions.

The FTC Guidelines do not prohibit you from compensating bloggers with actual money for work performed. They just mean it should be disclosed.

No, I am not referring to paying bloggers for product reviews.

It's just that if the discussion ever turns to something like, "We can get that on the blogs for free", then it's a clue that something might be amiss.

*****

In summary, my solution to the disconnect is: "Don't be a turd."

While it's a specific idea, it's not very measurable.

Then again, maybe I'm not qualified to give advice, but I just did.