We've had some success with money and our teen boys.

We pay an allowance/commission for chores once per month. We make it easy on ourselves and make it all or nothing. In other words, if a teen doesn't feel like mowing the lawn or emptying the dishwasher, we will do it, but there is no payday that month. They budget that money for all entertainment, fast food, extra clothes, etc.

We cover cell phone (they pay for downloads/data plans), music lessons, necessary clothing and car insurance. They share a "third family car" and we pay for one tank of gas per month. We've estimated that this would get them to all of the things we would drive them to. One boy drives more than the other, so he has to make sure there is enough gas in it when he brings it back.

Both have summer jobs and we require that they save half of it in long term savings and the rest is theirs to give/spend/save as they like (nothing immoral or illegal).

Our 18 year old is heading to college with a good-sized savings account to cover his extra expenses above tuition/room and board. Our 16 year old seems to be on the same track.

We're following the Dave Ramsey plan at our house. My kids have required jobs around the house that earn commissions. Each week when they are paid they are required to save 10%, give 10%, and the rest they can spend. They don't get any other money. In terms of the gas money, if they were using gas for errands for the household, you could either pay a comission for the errands, or claim that it is a cost of having the priviledge to drive.

This one is tough. Our girl was in cheer (gag) and all AP classes. She was also very active in youth leadership at church and volunteered regularly (church and elsewhere.) She couldn't really have a job so we paid her expenses, gas, etc. She was expected to save her $ from b-days, and babysitting $ for extras. Like the expensive makeup that she liked to have. Or buying Victoria's Secret bras. She was expected to help around the house and run errands for us when needed. If we had her babysit for a non-family related function then she would get paid, but if it was for back-to-school night, etc. it wasn't paid, seeing as it was helping with the family.

Now that she's in college we pay tuition, room and board, and car insurance but she is responsible for everything else she wants to do. She has a great job on campus that she's getting about 40 hrs/week right now and will get 10-20 during the school year. She has to save, save, save because she wants to go to Africa next summer and we've told her that we can only pay a teeeny portion of that.

Emma (12) has a chore list each day and chores missed are deducted at 5o cents per chore at the end of the week, where she CAN receive $10 if everything was done. (rarely).

When my older kids were teens, they were required to work or we didn't provide them with a car. No job, no car. We paid insurance, they paid gas. Allowance was tied to chores then as well.

I have a 16-year-old son. I bought him a cheap used car (hand-me-down from my sister) and I pay his insurance. I don't make him pay for gas - he has his own gas station credit card, but he drives VERY little - 2 miles each way to school and only a couple times a month to extracurricular activities. He gets $40 a week for doing all of the yardwork and $20 a week for lunch money - that seems to be enough spending money for him because he's home most of the time. I am really pressing him to get a summer job, as much to keep him busy and get him work experience as for the money. I like the ideas of getting him his own checking account with a debit card - linked to my account so I can monitor it - and of making him save/donate a percentage of what he makes.

Well, you know our girls will compare notes, if they haven't already, so I'll give you the Reader's Digest version of what happens in our house. You can message me for more detail if you want it. Diva gets $20 per week payable monthly when she brings me her reconciled bank statement.. That must cover all her entertainment, eating out, any extras she wants, etc. Bi-annually, she also gets a clothing allowance (amount dependent upon the season). I pay for school uniforms, athletic stuff, and certain basics (socks, etc). Anything else she has to budget from the funds she's given or earns on her own. As for gas, I put $50 in her account to start with. Each time she fills up, she brings me a receipt and I transfer money into her account. When she is doing a lot of "social event" driving, I make her pay a portion of the gas - we usually talk about it in advance, Next summer, when we expect her to be employed, I will only pay for a minimal amount of fuel (enough to get to obligatory events or errands she runs for us). Like Busy Girl, Diva can't work during the school year, so we will continue to pay for fuel and give the allowance during that time. I am starting to track how much is spent on her health/beauty/supplies kinda stuff and want to eventually increase her allowance to cover those items, too. I want her to know and understand how to budget for EVERYTHING by the time she leaves for college. We are also working on having her be responsible for seeing to the maintenance of the vehicle she drives.

FWIW, as a financial planner, I see many people who have NEVER learned how to budget. These are the same people who greatly over-extend themselves and end up with mountains of consumer debt trying to maintain a lifestyle beyond their income. You will be doing your children a huge life service if you can teach them fiscal responsibility.

Can't really help here - my kids are still young - but I'm reading with great interest and taking notes too!

I have no experience with the allowance yet, but I just wanted to say I am glad to see so many parents interested in helping their kids with learning about money early. My parents didn't teach me about budgeting, I went to college with no knowledge and a decade later am still paying the debt.

I am taking notes on what other parents are doing with their kids though :)

This is a HUGE deal at my house right now since I have a 17 year old who cannot find a job here in MI (no lie - there aren't too many jobs and even the fast food jobs are taken by adults) and a soon to be 15 year old with a serious clothing addiction. I give them both an allowance every week but it only goes so far. They both can do extra chores for some cash, plus they can babysit their 8 year old brother this summer. However, I'm just about ready to sit down with them both and tell them that this is the best that I can do since I took a pay cut this year. They need to budget better and come up with some solutions too. I can really feel your pain, Busy Mom.

Hey Busy Mom...I just found you and I'm a busy mom too! I have daughter 16 (with job at ice cream store), son 14, son 11 and daughter 9. Daughter 16 gets $20 a week allowance. For this she must has set jobs that include: pour drinks for dinner every night, unload dishwasher, put away towels, put away laundry, babysit. My youngest daughter is severely disabled (infantile) so everyone has to help out with her. Out of her $20 she has to pay for all her entertainment and about 1/2 her clothes. She is feeling good with her ice cream, additional babysitting money from neighbors and a boyfriend who never lets her pay! She is putting quite a bit away, but she likes clothes too. I don't think we'll make her pay for gas because honestly she doesn't drive too far anywhere. She only has her permit now, but I will count on her to help out with sibling rides.

My son (14) only gets $10, plus money for mowing the law. He has similar household responsibilties, but we don't bump up allowance to $20 until highschool. The bump eliminates the need for them to ask for money to go out. They have to budget this way.

Thanks for the discussion...it's good to get others' perspectives.

Kathy
www.wellnessroadtrip.com

1. Allowance? We allow them to stay up late on weekends; does that count?

2. 14 yo has a steady babysitting gig - she gets to keep half the money and (just like birthday, Xmas, etc. $$) deposit the rest into her savings account. 16 yo is applying for a summer job, anywhere, as we speak/type.

8 yo and 11 yo also have savings accounts and have deposited half of their birthday, Xmas, etc. $$ as well.

FWIW: One of my clients has 20+ year-olds with allowances, still. Of course, they're still in college and, well, somehow, that whole "allowing them to stay up late on weekends," thing is going to grow old, real fast, too :(

I don't have kids--I'm only 23--but I can tell you what my parents did if you'd like to hear their experiences. :) I actually worked all through the school year after I turned 16, but my job was very flexible with school commitments. I did plays, Model UN, and debate, so I could get off whenever I had those commitments. Consequently, I paid for my own gas and "frivolities," like movie tickets, fancy new clothes I didn't really need, and so forth, but my parents still fed me (obviously) and bought my school clothes. My sister and brother worked only in the summers and got $20 a week that was to be portioned as needed--often for gas but also for movie tickets and so forth. This was a riskier strategy for my parents, as my brother in particular was skilled at playing one parent against the other; for example, Mom would give him the allowance, but then he'd choose not to mention that to Dad when he got home, thus pocketing another $20.

I think there should be some activity or chore attached to the money you give your kids. I like the previous commenter's idea about each chore having a pricetag. I think my siblings walked away with a lot of unearned money while I was busting my tail at the Bi-Lo in our town, but that might just be me being a bitter sibling. ;)

My boyfriend's parents "cut him off" from all money aside from meals when he turned 16. Clothes, gas, mad money, car and cell phone payments, insurance, and everything in between were his responsibility. I think that's a lot to dump on a 16 year old, but I do think it's smart to give the kid some responsibility with the money. I'm better with money today than either of my siblings since it was always *my* money, and thus I was better at allocating and saving it for things that mattered.

I have a 4 and 2-year-old and we are already trying to starting instilling money sense in them. They do "chores" and can earn money (a quarter) when they do them. Then when we go somewhere they can bring money if they want to be able to buy more than we might get for them or if there is a new toy that my son wants he has to get out his piggy bank and take money out.

I had really young parents who never had much money and didn't really have the tools/experience to teach us about money and I have paid the price for that--finally getting our financial act together and we really want to make sure that we set our kids up for success. There are a lot of awesome tips here that I will be using as they get older.

My kids are 25 and 27 now...when they were younger they got an allowance. It was not tied to chores. Our thinking around that was that I do not get paid to do laundry--that is part of being part of the family--and they shouldn't get paid to do dishes or keep their rooms clean. I was of the belief that those were their "jobs" in the family. Mine was to cook, clean. shop, etc.

I remember them getting a weekly amount that increased as they got older. It really helped out when we were out and they asked if they could get a candy bar or ball or whatever...my response was always, "do you have the money for it?" I obviously paid for their food, clothes, etc.

When they started driving they also got jobs and would pay for their own entertainment and whatever else they wanted that was out of the realm of what we should pay for (special makeup, brand name shoes or whatever). We took out loans for them to get cars ($1000) and they had to make the payments. We paid their car insurance as they did errands for us.

We have friends whose college-aged daughter has a roommate that gets $1600/mo allowance--and they pay for her car, food, phone, rent--that is just crazy!

This is a great question and it is interesting to see all the different responses.

I simply give my teen a set allowance and she can spend it however she likes. If she uses it up on clothes then she has no more money for something like gas. It teaches them how to be responsible for their own purchases in life.