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Charlie's Soap

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Tuesday, July 10
Anatomy of a sick day

Me (to me): "Man, I don't feel so good."

Me (to me): "If you didn't stay up half the night playing Scramble With Friends and went to bed on time, maybe you'd feel better."

Me (to me): "OK, I got a decent amount of sleep, and I am awake now and also possibly dead."

Me (to me): "You can't miss work, you haven't even been in this job all that long. Take a shower like you tell the kids to do when they don't feel well on a school morning."

Me (to me): "Like a shower is going to fix this. Now, I know what an idiot I sound like to the kids."

Me (to me): "Yeah, but half the time they forget to be sick by the time they get out of the shower. Now, go do it. You might even get to work on time if you hurry."

Me (to me): "OK, now I'm sick AND breezy fresh. I just can't do it."

Me (to me): "I HATE calling in sick. I always feel like people think I'm lying."

Me (to me): "That would be because you assume people are always lying to you when you have a job telling other people what to do."

Me (to me): "I should work on that, eh?"

Me (to me): "I need to go back to bed."

Me (to me): "You're not THAT sick, get up and at least do *something*. But, if you can get downstairs, you should be able to get to work."

Me (to me):"Yeah, I am feeling a little better now that you mention it."

10 minutes later: Face down on the kitchen table.

Busy Dad: "Did you take something?"

Me: "Uhhhh..."

Busy Dad: "Good Lord. Aren't you a nurse? Here, take this."

Me: "Uhhhh..."

Me (to me): "Well, I am feeling a bit better, maybe I can get to work, I'll just lie down here on the kitchen floor for a minute....zzzzz."

Hours later: "Zzzzzz..."

Me (to me): "How'd I get in my bed? OK, you've had all day to wallow, now GET UP."

Me (to me): "Maybe there is something to this medicine thing, after all. I feel pretty good. Where is everyone?"

Me (to me): "They're in bed you idiot, it's 1am."

Me (to me): "Oh, I'll just play a few games of Scramble and check Twitter."

5:28 PM | Comments (3) |


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Comments

bahahaha oh i am so sorry. i hope you feel better soon!

Posted by: Les | July 10, 2012 8:50 PM

"Good Lord, aren't you a nurse?"

hahahahaha!!!!

Hope you're feeling better!

It is a vicious cycle.

Hope you are feeling better today!